00:00:04:20 - 00:00:28:18
Daniel Franco
So welcome back to the Creating Synergy Podcast today. We have an extraordinary guest with us today, Jabbar, whose resilience and determination have shattered the boundaries of adversity. But before we begin in, I really want to provide everyone with a trigger warning as we discuss some sensitive topics such as female genital mutilation and her experiences as a refugee in war.

00:00:28:28 - 00:00:54:11
Daniel Franco
I must say that this podcast is the first in over a hundred episodes. It's had me choked up and lost for words at just nine years old, Khadija had something deeply personal taken away from her through the cultural practice of female genital mutilation. You should be prepared to be moved as she shares her relentless pursuit of justice and unwavering commitment towards ending this human rights violation.

00:00:55:07 - 00:01:28:14
Daniel Franco
A TED Talk has reached over 3 million views worldwide, and her work is making a profound impact on this world. She shares her self-care strategies as an autistic person with ADHD while shedding light on the extreme racism that she faces a 13 year old newcomer to our shores. She also dismantles our view on unconscious bias. As a mother and advocate for individuals on the autistic spectrum, Khadijah enlightens us on the importance of understanding and supporting neurodiversity.

00:01:29:04 - 00:01:51:15
Daniel Franco
And her activism doesn't stop there as we delve into the fight against female genital mutilation. Breaking the cycle of how she's helped countless girls through her work. So we delve into her fight against female genital mutilation, breaking this cycle, and how she's helped countless girls through her work, which you'll be surprised still occurs to this day in Australia.

00:01:52:18 - 00:02:21:17
Daniel Franco
We'll explore the value of education and the connection between happiness and productivity, and most importantly, the belief that change is possible. It's a powerful message of hope. We'll leave you inspired, enlighten and motivate it to create a positive change in your own life and in the lives of those around you. So without further ado, let's embark on this amazing and most impactful conversation that I've ever had on the Creating Synergy Podcast with Khadija Blond.

00:02:21:25 - 00:02:39:22
Daniel Franco
So welcome back to the Creating Synergy Podcast. Tonight I have the immense honor of sitting across a force of change and I advocate of all things gender equality and social justice. The beautiful Khadijah Bala, Welcome to the show.

00:02:39:26 - 00:02:48:24
Khadija Gbla
Thank you, Danielle. 12 months in the making. Thank you for holding space for me. Waiting for me to get my act together, to come to my senses.

00:02:48:29 - 00:02:54:25
Daniel Franco
Absolutely right. Yes. We did ask you 12 months ago. You said yes, 12 months ago. And we are.

00:02:54:26 - 00:03:07:24
Khadija Gbla
Stuck in the desert. Danielle, I was coming from the safari desert. It takes time to feed the camels and water them and make me talk to my ancestors and then make a toast to Alia on the kangaroo at some point.

00:03:08:01 - 00:03:36:02
Daniel Franco
We'll dive into that travel injured course. But look, your TEDx talk has been shared over 3 million times and you've you've just absolutely done a world of good with, with everything that you are doing. Young Australian of the Year for South Australia you're in Australia's top 50 inspirational women. Your impact has resonated on a national and international scale and specifically in the world of human rights.

00:03:36:25 - 00:03:45:23
Daniel Franco
I'm really interested in your journey and your experiences and and understanding how your life has been shaped by your earliest contexts.

00:03:45:27 - 00:04:04:23
Khadija Gbla
Yes. When did it all began? I think if we want to say it began with my great my grandfather, my mum's father. So this really is what is important to point out is that I'm full time, say, queen on all sides of my family. And people are like, How do you become four times? What? Don't worry about it, okay?

00:04:04:29 - 00:04:27:06
Khadija Gbla
They call villages back home, which will be the same as a local council in Australia. So they see West Orleans Council or Port Adelaide similar size and the male is a big deal, not the same as the the chief in Sierra Leone. That's a big email here, has nothing on that level of of power and also respect. So I came from four levels of chief families.

00:04:27:26 - 00:04:48:16
Khadija Gbla
What my grandfather on my mother's side was who I would say my history would be the most connected with. So he was a chief at the time when you sent your daughters and to stay home to cook and be wives, you send your sons to school. That's what's funny about a man who is a muslim missionary but knows the Bible in and out, believes in liberal religious freedom.

00:04:48:21 - 00:05:05:10
Khadija Gbla
Didn't matter what gold you called it. Think about the times that has daughters. He has three wives at any given time. All those wives, please. All. Maybe these are a lot of children. He sent every single one of his daughters to school at a time when that was not the standard. In fact, that would have been revolutionary. Yeah.

00:05:05:12 - 00:05:22:19
Khadija Gbla
Then he ensured, my mom used to say, This is like if my father finds me home in the kitchen, he will actually beat the shit out of me. So he was abusive in the sense for what he thought was the right thing. You read your books. Education is better than silver and gold. My war. Would that happen? My grandfather's did.

00:05:22:19 - 00:05:29:26
Khadija Gbla
We're being persecuted because of those full time connections. All of a sudden, they come back to bite you in the ass full time, and it's a lot of hassle on the job.

00:05:30:27 - 00:05:35:17
Daniel Franco
So. So just explain the full time, full time queen. Meaning, obviously you.

00:05:35:17 - 00:05:37:17
Khadija Gbla
Come from those parents are all chiefs.

00:05:37:18 - 00:05:38:10
Daniel Franco
Oh, wow.

00:05:38:14 - 00:05:54:24
Khadija Gbla
Chiefdoms I have four chiefdoms that have been passed down. I'm being the first daughter granddaughter in the family. That's a huge magnet. Meanwhile, I'm here messing around when ruling kingdoms. This is what I mean, Daniel. We're not equal. We like to think that this.

00:05:55:00 - 00:05:56:12
Daniel Franco
Is what is coming to America.

00:05:56:12 - 00:06:19:18
Khadija Gbla
About this episode that ABC is coming out soon. But I see all of that to see. I come from a line of leadership and the line of leadership that has always stood its ground and has pioneered, rather than go with the grain, decided to self-reflect and go now. We're going to take a different path. Funnily enough, that scene that my grandfather said to my mom, education is better than silver and gold.

00:06:19:24 - 00:06:38:06
Khadija Gbla
When the war broke out and I was three, so I became refugee at the age of three. And I can't explain what that look like because I have an eight year old and when he was three, I was buying more teddy bears, more Lego in my house. But my child of one of bombs dropping my mom saying, Stig, as quiet as possible.

00:06:38:14 - 00:07:00:11
Khadija Gbla
People actually want you dead. Two different visions. But that legacy of my grandfather will flow on. Once my mom got us out of Sierra Leone, where we were internally displaced for eight years, we went to a refugee camp. While most of the other women could not survive independently without male protection, which comes with the cost or other activities they had to take part in for survival.

00:07:00:19 - 00:07:23:00
Khadija Gbla
My mom was able to go to work, so once again, the power of education. We got different opportunities. That education her grandfather talked about will come back to be a blessing in the kitchen is better than silver and gold. She lost her family. She lost her connection to country. She lost everything. But guess what? She had education. It meant in a new country with two daughters, a single mom, one is a newborn baby.

00:07:23:00 - 00:07:32:12
Khadija Gbla
My my sister was just born when the war broke out. So one and three. Can you imagine the vulnerabilities in that? The lack of protection and just target?

00:07:32:19 - 00:07:40:16
Daniel Franco
Yeah. So how did the the education. I understand education is the currency, right? I like that.

00:07:41:12 - 00:07:42:11
Khadija Gbla
She could go to work.

00:07:42:11 - 00:07:47:24
Daniel Franco
She could go to work. So they they they noticed her being an educated person. Therefore they she.

00:07:47:25 - 00:08:05:21
Khadija Gbla
Became a teacher. She became a math specialist and the arts teacher. That meant we had an education as well. So I was able to go to school. Okay. So even though English was my eighth language, I had learned some English. I had enough to communicate. I had in such a formal way. When I came to Australia, I taught Aussie kids West, like with the English.

00:08:05:29 - 00:08:23:21
Khadija Gbla
I spoke like I was from. I grew up as the grandchild of the Queen because she was so formal. Where are you? I'm not. Why? It's why this keeps talking like this. And I remember my teacher said, Somebody's doing your assignments. I'm like, Who? My mom is studying a double degree to be a nurse. Registered nurse. Now, that's her dream.

00:08:23:26 - 00:08:36:23
Khadija Gbla
I'm raising my sister. We have no family or network. No. I spend most of my night reading dictionaries to translate in multiple English. It's to get to your English, Which is not even proper English. No, thank you. I guess in my case, it's. Oh, shit.

00:08:37:03 - 00:08:38:08
Daniel Franco
It's like it's not good.

00:08:38:09 - 00:08:39:28
Khadija Gbla
Well, what they had Daniel, I had my.

00:08:40:07 - 00:08:50:20
Daniel Franco
I came to actually. When you grow up in Australia, it is all that it is, right? And it's not until you teach your children that you go, hang on. Life is so language is so bad.

00:08:50:26 - 00:09:01:10
Khadija Gbla
Well, when you know, apparently some members speak. I'm like, with the formality. Yeah, with the dignity. Yeah. How I. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Never mind. I even just.

00:09:01:10 - 00:09:19:25
Daniel Franco
Get confused with numbers you think about is like you going to one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, and then you're 11 and 12, which is not repeated again. Right? And then it's 13, 14, 13. What is that next? 14. And why isn't it five, 18, 16, seven. I don't Yeah I don't.

00:09:20:16 - 00:09:22:05
Khadija Gbla
I go die on this heal.

00:09:22:08 - 00:09:29:16
Daniel Franco
I remember I think yeah. I follow all those things on TikTok and Instagram to tell you how bad language is and I just keep laughing at it.

00:09:29:25 - 00:09:34:03
Khadija Gbla
The language is stupid isn't it? And there's so many other ways to communicate beyond language.

00:09:34:10 - 00:09:40:25
Daniel Franco
Absolutely. So you are coming to Australia. Had it. We had we find yourself here.

00:09:41:02 - 00:09:57:07
Khadija Gbla
We didn't choose counter to a lot of popular opinion. We just don't just actually shop around where they want to go. Yeah, maybe if you are a special kind of refugee, not all of us. And we also got on the boat and everyone keep saying, Khadijah, you came the right way. So we went to a refugee camp. We lived there for years.

00:09:57:07 - 00:10:15:21
Khadija Gbla
My mum applied for refugee status. We were acknowledged as refugees that I am this child going, I'm a refugee, I have no national home. What does that even mean? Not having a national home anymore? What we apply for that process. They interviewed us and the interview was funny. You're going to love this was a man in a suit from Australia, came all the way to the refugee camp.

00:10:15:21 - 00:10:16:26
Daniel Franco
Sorry, was in Australia, you.

00:10:17:08 - 00:10:38:28
Khadija Gbla
Know, it's in Gambia. Okay, so we after we escaped the war in Sierra Leone, after eight years of being displaced, we ended up in a refugee camp in Gambia, which is a neighboring country. And in there is where we did our interview. So this Australia man in his suit more often what you look like. Daniel comes down there to talk to my mom and my sister and I about our experience and the time I English wasn't in good.

00:10:38:28 - 00:10:44:22
Khadija Gbla
So my mum said, Just shake your head and smile. So every single question he asks was that.

00:10:45:00 - 00:10:46:03
Daniel Franco
Yeah, yeah.

00:10:46:14 - 00:11:09:21
Khadija Gbla
I mean, I say, of course it's about your life. You want to go to Australia? Which Australia? Yes. You're not safe. Safe? You? Yes, but it was interesting to go to that process of almost being evaluated to be fit to be in Australia. Medical questions that are very private to everything from your family background to can you go back and, you know, go back.

00:11:10:09 - 00:11:32:02
Khadija Gbla
It's very in-depth. And the point of that is attractive refugee even in such a horrible world where we're saying, well, this people are deserving of protection, that's a war. Can we help them? And we have rules that say we shall help them, but we want to talk to you once, only you know, one day, once without Ebola or HIV, or use the screen for that.

00:11:32:06 - 00:11:44:14
Khadija Gbla
We don't want the amputees. Yeah, our war has one of the largest amount of amputees in the world, and I want to do it. We go on. And so during the war, what they would do is say short sleeve or long sleeve, you know, and then they chop.

00:11:44:23 - 00:11:45:11
Daniel Franco
Yeah, well.

00:11:45:14 - 00:11:51:27
Khadija Gbla
Sorry for that. So just just for the sake of it, for the evilness of it. And that was what limps.

00:11:52:02 - 00:11:59:18
Daniel Franco
Those who are watching the video short sleeve means cut off the hand and long sleeve means cut off from the shoulder.

00:11:59:29 - 00:12:00:21
Khadija Gbla
And the legs are the.

00:12:00:21 - 00:12:01:24
Daniel Franco
Same. And the length of the side.

00:12:01:24 - 00:12:22:21
Khadija Gbla
And if you're pregnant, you take bets on whether you are having a boy or a girl, which defeats the very purpose. Oh, well, yes. Is it is that still happening? Okay. To some extent. In my news, after the war ended officially 13 years ago, we had Ebola. Of course, didn't happen. And then, you know, COVID hit where there's smoke, there's fire.

00:12:22:21 - 00:12:31:02
Khadija Gbla
The underlying causes, the conflict, the diamonds, the external interest, Western powers, the lot of voices, a lot of cooks in the kitchen.

00:12:31:07 - 00:12:32:16
Daniel Franco
Yeah. And you love about it.

00:12:32:18 - 00:12:53:12
Khadija Gbla
You see a lot of exploitation to be had in any given time. But that's what led me to Australia, though, which I didn't choose. But Australia chose us and we didn't choose Adelaide. Adelaide also chose us. But I can be more grateful for that opportunity to have a start at life because it is like coming from hell and going to heaven, except heaven has spice.

00:12:53:12 - 00:13:02:15
Khadija Gbla
It's not as heavenly as you might think by something called racism. Absolutely no spice to that. Have it experience. Well, that's probably the simplest way to explain the journey.

00:13:02:27 - 00:13:05:04
Daniel Franco
How old were you when you landed here?

00:13:05:10 - 00:13:23:29
Khadija Gbla
1030. So that teeny, you know, we just had 13. We had number. You're not a child anymore, but you have all those memories. So I remember being quite African, you know, in that sense of identity. I remember climbing trees to get mango. I remember walking barefoot. I remember not having to book appointment to go see neighbors. You just went and saw them.

00:13:24:04 - 00:13:31:16
Khadija Gbla
I remember the cultural stuff, you know, my food. So I was immense in my culture, then plucked and put in another cultural context.

00:13:31:23 - 00:13:37:05
Daniel Franco
Yeah, well, so. So you escaped your village at three.

00:13:37:13 - 00:13:38:05
Khadija Gbla
Years old when you.

00:13:38:17 - 00:13:40:08
Daniel Franco
Were ten years it took you to.

00:13:40:12 - 00:14:01:15
Khadija Gbla
Get out of Sierra Leone, internally displaced, that's called. It's another branch and category of refugees. You can't actually get out. We imagine if we were surrounded by fire and they said this area of the city was blocked off and you spent it ten years time to get out. Yeah, well, that's what you see in movies, right? You see the barricades and people can't get out or they go from stop to stop or you begin.

00:14:01:16 - 00:14:17:24
Khadija Gbla
Yeah, that can take years. You can birth a child and have grandchildren in that process, just like you can do that in the Fiji camp where you are born, generation to generation with no home, no place to go back to, no protection, no man's land, no identity. These are people's reality.

00:14:18:27 - 00:14:20:06
Daniel Franco
For sometimes their whole life.

00:14:20:07 - 00:14:42:27
Khadija Gbla
Their whole life. Because the concept of seeking home and finding home and finding refuge, it's not simple. Even on almost day to day life, you get into an accident. The path back to driving is not simple. You get fired from your work, the path back to work. These are all traumas we talk about complex PTSD just before Vietnam saying for the everyday job, if you get fired, I get on the study of complex PTSD.

00:14:43:02 - 00:14:56:27
Khadija Gbla
Don't think my life is that extreme that, oh well, I'll be going to college. You know, it's not the verify, but of our who we are as human beings. We need universal safety, home security comforts, sense of community.

00:14:56:29 - 00:14:57:05
Daniel Franco
Those.

00:14:57:06 - 00:15:19:01
Khadija Gbla
Hierarchy. Right. Thank you. Yeah. That transcends age, race, religion, sexuality, geographical. So each context matters. So if you're here struggling, you've gone from being a mum now your carer on top of being a mum. See, I myself, that's a change. That's a change and it's processing. That's a change that brings up baggage. That's a change that makes you of maybe future unpredictable.

00:15:19:10 - 00:15:31:16
Khadija Gbla
That's a change that can be traumatizing. So War Refugee but also, hey, I'm not a kid and then mum G Life is hard, I'm still the same, but if that makes sense. How did you.

00:15:32:15 - 00:15:38:00
Daniel Franco
In your in those ten years, what happened? Were you, were you educated in that time at work?

00:15:38:12 - 00:16:02:12
Khadija Gbla
No schooling happened at all. It is hiding cat and mouse game, not peeking out, not making noise, not talking to be as invincible as possible, especially because we were girls. Sexual slavery, the targeting of women on all camps, all side the military, the U.N., all they come down and they it's clear target women are the battlefield. Girls are the battlefield boys.

00:16:02:13 - 00:16:24:11
Khadija Gbla
Children at the battlefield. Yeah. Do you know do not will South Africans who own a percentage of our mining land sent missionaries to protect that land while the war is happening? So you could be raping, killing somebody you got in front of them? None of their business. The price of our humanity. What matters more? A plot of land of human life.

00:16:25:03 - 00:16:41:09
Khadija Gbla
Because if you wipe out all the people, I guess is going to do the blood diamonds for them. That was my question. If there nobody left, who's going to mine the diamonds? Yeah, but they were they to protect the land, nothing else. But then they plundered you raped and they got away with it because way this war, who's watching?

00:16:42:03 - 00:16:42:26
Khadija Gbla
Who do you protect?

00:16:43:14 - 00:16:44:24
Daniel Franco
Mm. There are no rules.

00:16:44:29 - 00:16:49:21
Khadija Gbla
There are no rules. So you're okay?

00:16:49:22 - 00:16:56:21
Daniel Franco
You're. No, I'm just. I'm trying to get them. But there's so much in this. I think you described your mother was where was your father?

00:16:56:27 - 00:17:12:02
Khadija Gbla
Your father was killed in the war. He was eliminating protection. It was the first thing to do. And immediately the male members of the family. It's intentional. No protection, no lineage. You are cutting off the protection. You are cutting off the foundation of what that was. That's what they're doing. So, yeah.

00:17:12:03 - 00:17:13:03
Daniel Franco
How old were you when that.

00:17:13:17 - 00:17:16:28
Khadija Gbla
To eat out, to eat, to weeks. Not three.

00:17:17:06 - 00:17:18:24
Daniel Franco
Three. Oh. Oh yeah.

00:17:18:24 - 00:17:33:03
Khadija Gbla
What happened. What happened. That went, that was the first, the first trauma. Well especially you're going to get killed. Oh yeah. And that's going well. And that's just the first of the many family members who'll be killed during this war. Oh, yeah. I can't count. I don't think we actually have a name.

00:17:33:03 - 00:17:37:01
Daniel Franco
So it was like, was it taken? It was in in front of you.

00:17:37:19 - 00:17:45:25
Khadija Gbla
Me and my sister, my mum. So as cold hearted execution was intentional, they came just to do that. And then it became.

00:17:45:25 - 00:17:46:20
Daniel Franco
In your own home.

00:17:46:20 - 00:17:49:06
Khadija Gbla
In our own home. So what?

00:17:50:06 - 00:17:55:09
Daniel Franco
So what's your mother? What did, what did she do?

00:17:55:14 - 00:18:14:19
Khadija Gbla
What did she do? She protected and she fought and she was resourceful and she got her daughters out. After eight or nine years out of Sierra Leone on her own, She got us out, got us to Gambia. We stayed there live. She went to work as a teacher. I stayed home, looked after my sister. She fought hard for every opportunity until that paper stamp came down.

00:18:14:23 - 00:18:32:19
Khadija Gbla
You are going to Australia And everyone said, Where the fuck is that history? We have never heard of Australia. That's what we all said. Imagine going to all that process and be told you're going somewhere in the world and you have no fucking idea where that just another, just another desert subway bus, some champion, some smack around us said, Oh I know where that is.

00:18:32:19 - 00:18:42:09
Khadija Gbla
Some learn learned man, it's across the world. There's nowhere else to go after that. That's not scary at all. Yeah, but nobody knew about us.

00:18:42:09 - 00:18:45:02
Daniel Franco
Yeah, right. Yeah, but it turns out it was paradise.

00:18:45:09 - 00:19:04:07
Khadija Gbla
It turned out it would be one of the best places to be in the world. And what a gift. I think both ways. I think I'm a gift. Australia was a gift to me. If I won't say that. Yeah, I think it's a match made in heaven. But not with all honesty. I think to this day. I came to Australia on the night of June 2001 night of June, just passed just.

00:19:04:20 - 00:19:05:14
Daniel Franco
As a week ago.

00:19:05:24 - 00:19:07:11
Khadija Gbla
Is that 23 or 24 years?

00:19:08:03 - 00:19:09:01
Daniel Franco
What year?

00:19:09:03 - 00:19:10:02
Khadija Gbla
20,001.

00:19:10:02 - 00:19:11:21
Daniel Franco
Soon as 22 years.

00:19:11:26 - 00:19:13:08
Khadija Gbla
22 years. You know, Colin.

00:19:13:15 - 00:19:14:01
Daniel Franco
Well done.

00:19:14:02 - 00:19:34:06
Khadija Gbla
Well, gonna come to get to be more specific. Yeah. Home. And it's an interesting relationship to be a refugee on a stolen land. That's a very interesting relationship and concept as well, but nevertheless, one that she has a lot of similarities to my own, you know, colonization history back in Sierra Leone and of course Australia's more Anglo colonial history.

00:19:34:21 - 00:19:45:24
Khadija Gbla
There's there's a synergy there in that story, But I am grateful now to also get to my child in a place where bumps are not copping everywhere. I mean, I don't take that for granted. Yeah, I do not take it for granted.

00:19:45:25 - 00:19:52:15
Daniel Franco
We haven't even go anywhere. They haven't even begun. What is your story yet? But I'm just. I am interested.

00:19:52:15 - 00:19:53:05
Khadija Gbla
Do you.

00:19:53:23 - 00:20:01:27
Daniel Franco
Um. How do you manage the retelling of this story? Does it does it affect you emotionally or not.

00:20:02:22 - 00:20:18:23
Khadija Gbla
In any way? And this is something I would say to a young activist and people as survivor advocates do the work on yourself first. Yeah, you don't owe the world anything. And what's her name? Rosie Batty is a perfect example of that advice. You know, when you've gone through trauma, part of that, Jane, is what you do with it.

00:20:18:23 - 00:20:34:16
Khadija Gbla
You know, there's the anger. This is grief. There is the I want to do something or I want to cover my head with a blanket. We all have different responses. Some of us, I think I'm all predestined towards the fight and I'm going to fight. I'm going to channel this into something meaningful. Yeah, but you can't do that if you are bleeding.

00:20:34:20 - 00:20:54:01
Khadija Gbla
You have to heal in order to not bleed all over the street. As you try to make that change, we need to be able to stand up. To make that change. You need to come from a place of being inform. Your personal experiences are just that. Then there's the political legal landscape. You have to understand that otherwise your story may actually just become a pawn in the grand game of life.

00:20:54:01 - 00:21:15:05
Khadija Gbla
All become not meaningful. These are what's productive and not productive. And it's political because it was like, Well, I mean, I guess I have to have my say. I'm the expert now. You can be on your opinion, on your experience, but you're not the expert on the whole general topic of it all. And we see how that can play out so that healing and doing the work so you don't bleed early.

00:21:15:13 - 00:21:36:05
Khadija Gbla
Complex Trauma treatment. EMDR was the key for me because I said immediately, No, it's just just MDR. I don't know because I said to all my treatment, which this is what they do. So the psychologist holds a hand and they move it back and forth like this, and then they tell you to focus on their memory and you give them a memory, right?

00:21:36:05 - 00:21:38:17
Daniel Franco
Yeah. So just for context, you're putting your finger in front.

00:21:38:17 - 00:21:55:14
Khadija Gbla
Of you in my nose and I'm moving it. So I give them memory, for example. Or when I was little, I had a gunshot. And right now it's Christmas. And that's reminded me of gunshots because fireworks remind me of that. Oh, okay. And how does that make you feel initially? I feel very scared when it comes. I am.

00:21:55:14 - 00:22:10:15
Khadija Gbla
I see. Oh, my God. Pinch me. I'm going to call you on second. Okay, then what's the song was a firework. It's Christmas is happy time. Obviously to kill me. Okay, then what's the next emotion? I'm anxious because I still don't know how predictable this is. I still don't know. What if it falls off the sky? What if?

00:22:11:03 - 00:22:30:25
Khadija Gbla
And slowly then when you feel it in your body, my stomach, my back, my shoulder. Until we get to the heart of that, we go and we move all the emotions attached to the memory. So now every Christmas Day, fireworks happen. I just go, Oh, baby, we should go see the fireworks. It's so lovely. I feel nothing. It's just an experience.

00:22:30:25 - 00:22:58:14
Khadija Gbla
All the emotions that we're attached to with a gun aimed at is called reason. That is what allowed me to use my trauma to be my work with a DV, racism, FGM, you know, going to a war, I am able to show up not only as a survivor advocate, but also as a professional in those contexts where I have learned what I need to learn to understand the political, the legal, the socioeconomic enough to join these two together and make it powerful package and be okay.

00:22:58:24 - 00:23:18:27
Khadija Gbla
Well, part of that is also daily self-care, though, because every day is different. If I woke up on the wrong side of this today and I was extremely more tired than I am, actually would not sound this article, I'm trying to be very much actually more. Sometimes I may go into a story and actually feel just a bit of sadness in my stomach going, Oh, I feel that to the because my cup is low, my own tolerance is low.

00:23:19:02 - 00:23:37:06
Khadija Gbla
So then my story feels meshed into the present rather than where I'm talking about it from a distance. So I'm here with you. I'm not in Sierra Leone, but I do have days when my cup is low. Actually, the space and time gets reduced and it feels like I'm very close to see and that's never good, if that makes sense.

00:23:37:11 - 00:23:43:26
Daniel Franco
It absolutely does. Do you talked about self-care. How do you manage that? How do you manage those when you cup is.

00:23:43:26 - 00:23:48:06
Khadija Gbla
Low, especially when you have a child to care for? I say, Well, we haven't even gone to that element.

00:23:48:06 - 00:23:49:08
Daniel Franco
Not to mention.

00:23:49:08 - 00:23:52:08
Khadija Gbla
Complex needs are you right? Yes.

00:23:52:19 - 00:24:05:22
Daniel Franco
Correct. And and on top of all that, the work and purpose that you have in life as well. Right. Which is which is heavy and and complexity the crown. So yes. Ahead do you manage oneself therapy?

00:24:06:11 - 00:24:24:21
Khadija Gbla
I do not now go to therapy. To me it's maintenance at this point. I think too often we go to therapy with I will achieve this goal and then I'll come out and that's it. I want to take everything. I'll be there for the rest of my life because I had enough traumas on the board. I remember this day marking about the two of us all kissing with one incident that would be traumatic itself.

00:24:24:21 - 00:24:42:16
Khadija Gbla
So your parents went to. Yes. So you went to degree? Yes. Okay. I think probably three, four or five years. I remember going to see my therapist negotiating admission for your complex PTSD, like it's not cancer. What do you mean? I mean the emotion because you're angry, active anymore. You are not the active. I have put you in every context we can put you that could be triggering.

00:24:42:23 - 00:24:56:12
Khadija Gbla
You are not. And then I said, Well, I want maintenance on maintenance because mental health is very fluid and these stresses can come. And my life is stressful by its very nature. I don't want to be on the backburner of my own health and well-being because then I can do what I want to do.

00:24:56:12 - 00:24:57:08
Daniel Franco
Stay proactive.

00:24:57:11 - 00:25:14:25
Khadija Gbla
You have to stay proactive. So self-care for me daily, it's plan. I don't wait for the bath. I plan that I will have a bath today. I plan to have a massage today to help me with my chronic pain. Having sat in the uncomfortable position for long, Piers, I plan that I'll have a respite with my son to allow his needs to be met where simultaneously Mummy fills up her cup.

00:25:15:04 - 00:25:32:29
Khadija Gbla
So when we come together, I parent. I'm a full cop. I plan. I have an early night tonight. Tomorrow I'm doing nothing for the rest of the weekend because I've traveled two nights ago and I'm here today. That's how I look after myself. It's very strategic. It's very intentional, it's planned, it's well thought out because it has to be.

00:25:32:29 - 00:25:38:10
Daniel Franco
Is it planned through digital means? Like, Oh, yeah, through calendar.

00:25:38:10 - 00:25:53:01
Khadija Gbla
Oh, Oh, yeah. Everything's on the calendar. Spot is going to happen. What they, what time, what's the transport, what distance. Where do I kick in with the child. Where are we meeting dinner. What's going to happen. How do I get that early night? What has to take place to actually go to bed early? What if I don't want to sleep?

00:25:53:01 - 00:25:59:23
Khadija Gbla
What can I do to make that time useful? So when I do sleep, then I'm okay. One thing is list of my list. It is strategy. It's like a chess match.

00:25:59:23 - 00:26:03:17
Daniel Franco
Yeah, well, so you're exhausted.

00:26:03:17 - 00:26:03:29
Khadija Gbla
Do you.

00:26:05:04 - 00:26:09:02
Daniel Franco
Do you lack routine, Which is why you have to plan like that or, you know.

00:26:09:02 - 00:26:26:12
Khadija Gbla
I'm autistic. I like routine and structure. Yeah, but the ADHD likes to miss it, like sleep. So the two things contradict the autistic. Like structure. Is it in my calendar? Is it planned? How long will it take me to go? Where will I be? Who's going to be where The ADHD is like? That sounds all nice. Now we're over here with this practice for 5 hours.

00:26:26:18 - 00:26:31:13
Khadija Gbla
What were we doing? A game. So I kind of have to plan it. What?

00:26:31:17 - 00:26:32:25
Daniel Franco
I did have a Dr. Jekyll.

00:26:32:25 - 00:26:53:23
Khadija Gbla
And yes, it is. Anyone who's had ADHD or will tell you it is. We walk around confused constantly on which side is going to win out on what we want. But I think also being a parent to know you need structure. It comes down to that. Children need structure, you need structure. Otherwise the they can get away from you and before you know it, it's 10 a.m. and I haven't eaten or drank anything all day.

00:26:53:23 - 00:27:00:09
Khadija Gbla
And that's not good enough. Not good enough. So for that, you know.

00:27:01:14 - 00:27:12:05
Daniel Franco
I mean, there's so many different angles. I'm trying to I'm trying to make sure I continue down to the right angle. Do you land? Let's go back to you land in.

00:27:12:05 - 00:27:15:00
Khadija Gbla
Adelaide, Adelaide, the 9th of June 2001.

00:27:16:14 - 00:27:18:11
Daniel Franco
And what does that day look like?

00:27:18:20 - 00:27:38:00
Khadija Gbla
It was a cold day because it's winter. I come from a tropical country. Sierra Leone is tropical Gambia's tropical. So never felt cold in my life. Wouldn't even know what that looks like. So we land and it's great and it's quiet and a lot of white people which itself you. But don't forget I come from a majority black country, outdoor traffic, a very rich culture.

00:27:38:06 - 00:27:53:07
Khadija Gbla
But then the diversity also was a cultural shock. I remember the first time we drove from the airport. We all sat down, probably wanted to kiss the floor, but we didn't because everyone's watching us. But just in gratitude for being here, we were taken to our refugee home, which was intolerance ville western side of town.

00:27:54:00 - 00:27:54:26
Daniel Franco
The West side is the best.

00:27:54:26 - 00:28:15:02
Khadija Gbla
West side is the best side. It's Italian. Give me that. Give me our Asian. We're all about the melting pot. We were taking our new home, which was very lovely, but we had to organize it ourselves to all these new structures. And I remember the first time my mum cooked and we had gone to Coles and she said the whites everything in their package I this people goats or sheeps, let's use this leaves.

00:28:15:02 - 00:28:35:28
Khadija Gbla
What are their goats. Do they, do they eat. I don't know Mummy, I don't know. She then discovered the Asian shop. She went Oh thank you Lord that's awkward. This lady fingers they stop your conscious. Oh my God, this is awful. I love this people. Meanwhile we go to the mall and she meets, sees all these Asians. She says to me because I think they brought us to the continent.

00:28:36:03 - 00:28:56:12
Khadija Gbla
I'm like, What do you mean, mummy? I thought Australia's going to be one way, because whatever they had described to her, it looks, I think, one continent. I mean we're not in the continent when the Asian Pacific region, this is where Australia is, we are in the right place. Well that's lovely. Remember the Asian shop, those people. Oh that makes sense.

00:28:56:12 - 00:29:20:27
Khadija Gbla
Okay. Yes Mummy. So we had to oriented ourselves a little bit, but I remember us being called Wang in multiple jeans and having an ice cream in the winter because it was fun. Had the ice cream in support of the ice cream. But if you say so, look as if it's cold. But I think the first incident that would show that our lives have changed was when my mom was cooking and the fire alarm went off and she freaked out, thinking it sounds like gunshots once again.

00:29:21:04 - 00:29:35:15
Khadija Gbla
And she shoot us all out of the house and pushed me in. Go investigate, Khadija. I'm the man of the house, so I went into it. So you're I was the oldest and I was the man of the actual all the bugs and everything that I needed. So I went to investigate where this sound was coming from. And that's always a smoke alarm.

00:29:35:15 - 00:29:56:14
Khadija Gbla
She goes, White people wipe smoke, almost gives me a heart attack. Those were the early days. It was quite a cultural shock. You know, you go from being on the visible in that everyone is black to this visibility and staying up me and my mum having to explain to me at 13 what is racism. I had to explain that to my son at three.

00:29:56:21 - 00:30:10:23
Khadija Gbla
But at 13 she'll have to explain what's this concept of racism? I say, Why are people so focused on staying? But also why do they make comments like Go back where you come from, you black monkey, or or you're a refugee? And here to take I'm like, I didn't choose to be a refugee mum. I want to be home.

00:30:10:23 - 00:30:13:26
Khadija Gbla
If I could be home. See, that's not how we work. So you.

00:30:14:12 - 00:30:15:18
Daniel Franco
Went to school.

00:30:15:18 - 00:30:17:00
Khadija Gbla
Went to Mitcham Girls, High School.

00:30:17:00 - 00:30:18:16
Daniel Franco
Mitcham girls, and.

00:30:19:07 - 00:30:22:18
Khadija Gbla
Just going to keep me away from the white boys. Yeah. And.

00:30:23:11 - 00:30:26:03
Daniel Franco
And experienced the racism on a daily basis.

00:30:26:06 - 00:30:36:04
Khadija Gbla
Yeah. Every example, racism or HIV with Khadijah is one or poverty with Khadijah. This is my teacher's wicked teacher is from I was the example.

00:30:36:04 - 00:30:37:25
Daniel Franco
So wow so from the teachers.

00:30:38:11 - 00:30:49:16
Khadija Gbla
Just to this to they should just like go back where the fuck you came from. You just hear like, why are you living here? Why does your food smell? The Italians and the Greeks have gone to this? Why does your food smell? What do you smell? Why do you talk that way? Why do you use your hands so much?

00:30:50:15 - 00:31:13:06
Khadija Gbla
Nothing unique, just part of Australia's migration and refugee history. Just as we were the next batch, the African batch who had just come. That's what may be different. But that had visible way before. I wouldn't have thought of the color of my skin. Why would I? Everyone around me was me. When you're the majority, all of a sudden this detail mattered to other people, more so than me and the same mom having to explain that to my child.

00:31:13:11 - 00:31:17:20
Khadija Gbla
Well, remember my mom explaining it to me that I wouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt?

00:31:18:00 - 00:31:21:26
Daniel Franco
What what did that explanation look like from your.

00:31:21:26 - 00:31:40:03
Khadija Gbla
Mom said, Because of the color of our skin, there are people who think we are less than that, who think we are not deserving of the same quality of a speck of dignity they hold because they admit Jodie, because in Italy they think their color is much bigger than our color. And I said, What got me that when God gave them that color?

00:31:40:07 - 00:31:57:18
Khadija Gbla
So what if it doesn't matter that you can't control you? Maybe she said, it doesn't matter. The point is that's how they feel. So in their interactions with you, the goal is to make you feel less than what I want you to do is not to let that happen. Don't make anyone make you feel less then you own that and see I'm okay in my skin and there's nothing wrong with me.

00:31:57:27 - 00:31:59:23
Khadija Gbla
That's easier said than done at the age of 13.

00:31:59:23 - 00:32:04:25
Daniel Franco
Yeah. So you've gone from a country where, you know, they killing, raping.

00:32:05:21 - 00:32:07:12
Khadija Gbla
War, plundering. Yeah.

00:32:07:13 - 00:32:17:25
Daniel Franco
And then. And then you come to a country where people talked at you and I guess judge you on a daily basis.

00:32:17:29 - 00:32:36:00
Khadija Gbla
Different insecurity. Yeah. And there are days when the racism does feel like an outside wall of its own. Like as a war. I, you know, I get to hear some people say, why did you do that? So with a flare and you always saw all of that said it's an AMA. Yeah, it's an AMA to a world that will look at my presentation, actually judge me already from the get go.

00:32:36:03 - 00:32:54:28
Khadija Gbla
So I'm going to give you something fucking beautiful to look at. Choke on it. No, but that's what I think. It's an AMA though is a form of protection. You wake up, you go, okay, if you're going to look at me, they're going to judge my accent. They're going to judge my education ability. I remember being in law school and people asking me if I was lost in the lecture hall, if I was lost.

00:32:55:13 - 00:33:10:06
Khadija Gbla
I'm not lost. Are you lost? I am not what I meant to be because I kind of wanted to belong there. How did I get it? I was speaking it language. I don't know. Maybe it's called studying your ass off. We did languages. If you. If you could speak your one language better, that would work for me, too.

00:33:11:09 - 00:33:15:14
Khadija Gbla
I'm Betty. I've. I've learned to fire back, so you have to.

00:33:15:17 - 00:33:18:01
Daniel Franco
So your explanation to your son, then?

00:33:18:07 - 00:33:40:03
Khadija Gbla
Mine was different. Yeah. He was called a cheeky monkey. And it had context because I know in Australia calling kids cheeky monkeys actually not necessarily racialized, but to a black baby boy, that changes the way the context and the impact for him outside of a cute in this situation in black monkey said black monkey it's not Indian term but the kids took it on board.

00:33:40:04 - 00:33:55:23
Khadija Gbla
They said, Oh, you wouldn't even have thought of them. They're calling me chicken dolphin. Chicken dolphin, He'll be fine. But it's also we talk about dolls. Do they have colored dolls? So you can see himself reflected when you step outside of that. And there is the world out there way. My son, a little beautiful baby boy, is sometimes criminalized.

00:33:55:29 - 00:34:11:26
Khadija Gbla
I remember him one time playing with his very shiny watching class, and the teacher had to go to message and say he stole it. I said she didn't leave the classroom. She goes, No. Then how could he have stolen it? We'll see a child. Kids touch shiny things. Why would you use such a language on such a child?

00:34:12:00 - 00:34:30:29
Khadija Gbla
But you guess what then that has a context in. Not until you talk. There's an 80 year old Aboriginal boy with trauma, with disability who's locked up. Do you think it's your child such as that has criminal intent? This is Australia. So when I look at my son, I know he will have the of the doubt being autistic, being disabled, he has vulnerabilities that keeps me up at night.

00:34:31:08 - 00:34:49:24
Khadija Gbla
But one of his that was reminded me I became a human rights activists way before I had a child because I was in waiting that something had to be an identity. I had to fight to fight. Think about what I just said. I didn't wait for something to be personal, to believe in the rights of all people. But then disability or point of difference will land into my family in my lap.

00:34:49:28 - 00:35:05:24
Khadija Gbla
What if I had not thought that fight before? What if I didn't believe that? Then? I also know well, my child has like what the world achieved. I mean having an asshole to everyone else. But we do that very often. We do that. We all assume we're all not 2 seconds away from a disability, a heart attack, a stroke, a car accident.

00:35:06:00 - 00:35:25:12
Khadija Gbla
We all are. This is not life choices. This is life happens. Then we go what people should have. Because my grandmother is in that situation now. The elderly should have like my child. Well, where were you before? For all the other people who were in that situation when you thought, well, maybe they must have deserved it somehow? Maybe their parents took some medication while they were pregnant.

00:35:25:17 - 00:35:40:08
Khadija Gbla
I took all my vaccines. That's not why my son is autistic. The lab Autistic. Because I didn't think much of my vaccine as a black baby. I'm still autistic for the lack of vaccine. Obviously, the questions on vaccine. Autistic. Which one is it? Yeah, I'm just. Oh, this is for everyone. ADHD for.

00:35:40:17 - 00:35:41:05
Daniel Franco
Everyone is.

00:35:41:05 - 00:35:54:00
Khadija Gbla
On the everyone. This is why some of us them also I know this well, but I hope that made sense. But yes, here we are, that conversation. But Daniel, for me it wasn't one conversation. It's also then you are different.

00:35:54:00 - 00:36:02:29
Daniel Franco
Maybe looking back that when came and the conversations she had with your mum to what your son is going through, it's different.

00:36:03:16 - 00:36:04:21
Khadija Gbla
It's generational.

00:36:05:01 - 00:36:05:18
Daniel Franco
Improved.

00:36:05:23 - 00:36:23:27
Khadija Gbla
If my mom knew I was autistic and my mom knew I had disabilities, but she vehemently said not acceptable in her home, she said, Your black, your guilt, they cannot see your disability invisible disabilities. She said they can't sit, so we're just not having it. So I wasn't raised to be able bodied, to act like this is the world, ignore my body, ignore what it is doing.

00:36:24:06 - 00:36:42:01
Khadija Gbla
So when my son got diagnosed with autism, ADHD, epilepsy and intellectual disability, I was sitting there going, I was prepared for this. I was born to be this boy's mum. Always seem to at this point of difference, to give him the life that I wish I had been given. I'm going to give it to him. My son is not always disabled.

00:36:42:27 - 00:37:00:00
Khadija Gbla
Not that we don't talk about. No, he has no will because he lived a life that is of you deserve the best. You deserve quality, you deserve opportunity and access. You are perfect. You are major, You are what you want to be so cheeky. That's why he wants to mine diamonds and investment. What's his name? Samuel.

00:37:00:00 - 00:37:00:18
Daniel Franco
Samuel.

00:37:00:19 - 00:37:20:06
Khadija Gbla
What? Sometimes he would tell you it's still up in the lap album. I'm just waiting for the album to be coming in the studio album, but it's a different conversation. It's one of acknowledgment and validation. I still can remember the day I told him, Baby, Mommy's like you. He goes, What do you mean? I'm like, Our brains are very actually similar.

00:37:20:21 - 00:37:36:09
Khadija Gbla
And he goes, I always thought so. I always thought my mum is just like me. My mum is always nice to me. She understands me. I didn't know on an in level though when he was born I just remember going, My job is to adapt to this baby boy's life, whatever he needs. My job is to adapt. Whatever challenges he taught me.

00:37:36:09 - 00:37:54:08
Khadija Gbla
He doesn't like sounds, doesn't like smell. He's fickle, his food, things have to be done this way. You have to do it on his schedule. I was just thinking. What a gift. Nevertheless, what a gift. My job is to adapt. So when the diagnosis came down for him, I went, Oh, thank you. I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset.

00:37:54:19 - 00:38:07:16
Khadija Gbla
I just said thank you, that now I have information to know how to care for him. Then I said, Well, thank you for giving me even more of a boost to fight the good fight because you are not the problem for the world. I'm losing you in is going to be the fucking problem. Yeah, and that's the conversation.

00:38:07:29 - 00:38:27:03
Daniel Franco
I love that attitude I heard. Will I kind of adopt this philosophy? You know, I try as best as I can in the sense that, you know, there's the old saying, I've got to do this or I've got to do that, I've got to do this. And if you flipped, that would go with with get I get to do this and I get to do it.

00:38:27:03 - 00:38:28:27
Daniel Franco
And it just sounds like that's your approach.

00:38:29:11 - 00:38:44:24
Khadija Gbla
I didn't see anything lacking. I didn't see and I know we're all unique in the way we process information like that, but I remember even having to dad who we have no relationship with, well, having to counsel him, I said, he's still our perfect baby boy. I'm calling you. We don't talk and we don't. But I'm like, I'm calling you because this is unique.

00:38:44:24 - 00:39:01:16
Khadija Gbla
This only us can understand this. Give it to this baby. Yeah. I want you to know he's still your baby boy. He hasn't changed. This information just tells us more about him, what we can do to meet his need and the world we need to create for him. But don't think you have lost anything of you. How you want to feel.

00:39:01:22 - 00:39:18:11
Khadija Gbla
You may have had hopes and dreams for him that you may now be questioning, but that's the beauty of this. He will tell us what his hopes and dreams are. Our job is to nurture those hopes and dreams and I'm here with you every step of the way because we are in this together. So even that was a breach in our relationship for me.

00:39:18:11 - 00:39:27:05
Khadija Gbla
What? I'm going to step a level up for my child. Your need now requires communication in a way that's more comprehensive than the other child. Yeah. And here we are.

00:39:29:23 - 00:39:33:21
Daniel Franco
Right. So let's let's let's go back.

00:39:33:26 - 00:39:35:17
Khadija Gbla
Back to where staff are.

00:39:35:17 - 00:39:40:01
Daniel Franco
Because we we actually said earlier that we haven't gotten to the depth of.

00:39:40:15 - 00:39:41:14
Khadija Gbla
Any of.

00:39:41:14 - 00:39:42:10
Daniel Franco
Your experience.

00:39:42:22 - 00:39:44:06
Khadija Gbla
So it's.

00:39:44:06 - 00:39:44:28
Daniel Franco
Always been.

00:39:47:29 - 00:39:48:25
Khadija Gbla
You.

00:39:49:19 - 00:40:00:00
Daniel Franco
Growing up experience something which is the was the essence of your TEDTalk talk. Yes. Can you share with us that story place?

00:40:00:15 - 00:40:24:22
Khadija Gbla
So the story I'm about to share is about the topic of female genital mutilation, sometimes known as female circumcision of cotton. None of those names are valid and do not reflect the act itself. There are 200 million women and girls or people who identify as female or have vulvas who have been subjected to female genital mutilation, and that includes intersex people, members of the LGBTQ community.

00:40:25:00 - 00:40:56:14
Khadija Gbla
It's nonsense age, sexuality, class and religion. I am one of millions. What an insult in Australia. The 200,000 women who have been cut have posted. I'm the loudest voice in this space, but I was only about nine years old when I was subjected to female genital mutilation because my mum believed this was something she had to do as a mum, and that culturally, without subjecting my system to female genital mutilation, we will culturally not have been acceptable or marriageable.

00:40:56:24 - 00:41:24:27
Khadija Gbla
So what is female genital mutilation and trigger warning for those listening? It's the act of altering the female genital area for non-medical reasons. So essentially the lady beads and the clitoris of little girls as young as newborn babies are cut off in the name of preserving virginity. But really it's all in the name of masculinity. It's all in the name of the patriarchy that woman's walls are for child being, not pleasure, not anything else.

00:41:24:27 - 00:41:48:20
Khadija Gbla
And women's bodies are commodities to be traded and to be altered to suit a norm that only benefits men in that situation. So 200 million worldwide and we're still counting. And in Australia, every ten second a girl or somebody who has a vulva is mutilated. So for as long as I have been here, if it's been about one hour, that's a lot of girls that have been cut since we started this conversation.

00:41:48:27 - 00:41:58:08
Daniel Franco
I am dumbfounded at that. That still occurs in Australia. The rest of the world. I haven't I'm not educated enough to know.

00:41:58:19 - 00:42:01:16
Khadija Gbla
In our own territory who lives here. Yeah, it's Kerry.

00:42:01:17 - 00:42:02:21
Daniel Franco
Every 10 seconds.

00:42:02:21 - 00:42:24:09
Khadija Gbla
Every 10 seconds. And we have had four successful prosecutions that people are not aware of. So in New South Wales two years ago, three people were found guilty of performing FGM on two little girls, and they were from an Indian community that was not traditionally viewed as practicing FGM. We have heard of FGM in Russia, FGM in Asia is pervasive to the point where Indonesia, Malaysia's legal.

00:42:24:09 - 00:42:47:09
Khadija Gbla
You have signboard saying come for $20 to cut a girl, choose option one. You cut off the clitoris, option to cut out the clitoris and some set of lethal option three. We saw you all the way up, boldly advertised, not even hidden. This is one of the most brutal form of gender based violence. If I said to you we were going around cutting the ease off of little children, you'll be appalled.

00:42:47:23 - 00:42:53:24
Khadija Gbla
How did we get to 200 million genitals? We will never accept that in any other context.

00:42:54:17 - 00:43:01:10
Daniel Franco
And just help me understand the reason why this still happens is, is it like for that patriarchy thing, it's.

00:43:01:10 - 00:43:23:07
Khadija Gbla
A good thing. I know of a woman to be the one in Melbourne who was masturbating and her mum took a scissors to her genitals. I know of a clinic in Shepparton that does male circumcision under the table, the female genital mutilation, all under the guise of these girls must be virgins because you get a big adawi I know of angrily.

00:43:23:07 - 00:43:39:15
Khadija Gbla
Two girls are going to Libya plastic because the parents think their genitals need to look like porn stars where everything stunning. I know a few men who have gone to have babies and what's called the husband stage and the doctor has turned to the husband and said, I'm going to add a few more stitches for you, mate, of an go and ask woman's body.

00:43:39:26 - 00:44:04:07
Khadija Gbla
She doesn't need those extra stitches. And why are two men discussing some of this? But these are all the forms of immigrant immigration. So that translates ways you can see how it's culturally then very diverse, religiously very diverse. We've had a female genital mutilation being used to make people not be gay, to not be lesbians. Mhm. Yeah. Every single reason given is not valid.

00:44:04:28 - 00:44:06:16
Khadija Gbla
There's not a single excuse for it just.

00:44:06:23 - 00:44:09:16
Daniel Franco
Comes back to your point of education is the currency. Right.

00:44:09:28 - 00:44:31:23
Khadija Gbla
My grandfather's word education is better than silver and gold when you can educate people. I have sat in a room so I have great grandmother, grandma, mum, daughter, grandchild. What? How many levels of sixth generation queen great grandmother wasn't aware that this thing her husband taught her had to have happened on her father. It has to happen because she's a girl.

00:44:31:24 - 00:44:49:06
Khadija Gbla
She didn't know the impact. So she then goes on to have a baby. Her husband said the baby needs to have FGM, although she'd be a bad mum. Then she passed onto her daughter, who is now in a different cultural context. Who's this Harm me. I don't have normal periods. I may not be able to have babies, I have infections, I have complex PTSD.

00:44:49:06 - 00:45:05:01
Khadija Gbla
I mean, they feel comfortable. My board of trauma. I don't want no part of this. Now, Mom is like, No, no, no, you don't do it. When does it end? They're going to look at our family. And then the intervention happens, though, whether it's Khadija or somebody, what you have that intervention where you go normal, it has to end here.

00:45:05:08 - 00:45:25:27
Khadija Gbla
This was never necessary. It was never needed, not on any religion, on any culture. This is just if things went completely wrong, the need to control women's bodies and sexuality, FGM is just one form of that. We see here how women are also policed, where they wear bikini the way you know what you wear. We have seen our politicians try to minimize their femininity in politics.

00:45:26:03 - 00:45:45:23
Khadija Gbla
Julia Gillard, Julie Bishop. To some extent that's very masculine. Why do we feel the need to do these things? When did women's sexuality our bodies become the target or become the battleground for all levels? It doesn't matter business wise, political wise, legal wise. We see this battle in presentation, in who you know, who has the right be their full self.

00:45:46:15 - 00:46:07:26
Khadija Gbla
That is not so far fetched to then go to a playground where a girl gets pushed by Bob and everyone goes, Bob must like you. That's why he's pushing you. This No love is now abuse. Look, all your body doesn't look at which comment on bodies as young as now We have kids. What we've got. I can't eat.

00:46:08:01 - 00:46:23:21
Khadija Gbla
I need to lose weight. What does it stop? Oh, we have little girls. We are told they are too bossy. What if the boy is a leader? Or he's such a leader? He's our little man. Our little leader in the house. Boys don't cry, though. Where does that leave room If they don't cry? I think I wouldn't actually.

00:46:23:21 - 00:46:45:27
Khadija Gbla
While I say don't tell my my my son to to man up. It's not a man. He's a boy. He's a child. Don't use that language. He's allowed to be a kid, is allowed to play with whatever he wants to play. Why? Because those rigid gender stereotypes are what leads to domestic violence and FGM. The very logic of what we see the binary boy go poverty, cleanliness, you know, soya, oats.

00:46:45:27 - 00:47:05:10
Khadija Gbla
This is. How many guys have you slept with? She's a slut. I hope that's making sense. How these two kids, they are not what they call it, superficial. They actually then manifest in what is very violent form of abuse that takes place underpinned by these attitudes that everyday we ignore and go, Oh, it's nothing.

00:47:06:28 - 00:47:10:14
Daniel Franco
Get How do we solve the unconscious bias?

00:47:10:14 - 00:47:31:00
Khadija Gbla
That is it unconscious? Danielle Well, because we now challenge the premise of unconscious bias, we challenge yes, we do, because there's a level of the lack of responsibility on people's part to see whether it was unconscious. I mean, yeah, I think about that. It's a fine line because some things can be conscious, but in the world we live in where we have education, we have information.

00:47:31:06 - 00:47:48:22
Khadija Gbla
Can one be unconscious, can one then all be willfully choosing not to read or we all look around or listen? You've got podcasts coming out of our eyes. We've got to talk them out. I mean, we have information. We have never had more access to information. So can one have a reasonable excuse to not being away? Think about it.

00:47:48:28 - 00:48:00:05
Khadija Gbla
The wi fi who has no wi fi anymore, We're all a click away from information. Our listeners are going to be Googling today after this session, and now they're going to be like FGM. Okay, I need to know everything.

00:48:00:10 - 00:48:14:23
Daniel Franco
Yeah, absolutely. So just in regards to what people people with to work from, from a professional sense that Yeah. So I think well I think if, if a man rocked up in.

00:48:14:24 - 00:48:15:07
Khadija Gbla
A skirt.

00:48:15:14 - 00:48:16:24
Daniel Franco
In a skirt, a.

00:48:16:24 - 00:48:18:07
Khadija Gbla
Kilt would be okay.

00:48:19:01 - 00:48:31:22
Daniel Franco
Well, in the evening, just in short, like in the corporate world, if someone rocked up in shorts, they would be like, Why are you wearing shorts? Right? Like, So can you help us sort of understand where the boundaries are and whether or not why.

00:48:31:22 - 00:48:48:01
Khadija Gbla
Do we need boundaries? Yeah, you obsessed with boundaries? Why do we always need to curb everything? What are we so scared of? We set a goal that someone is going to come to to with with a crown on head. But what would be wrong with that? I just want to say what's the worst that can happen?

00:48:49:11 - 00:48:50:16
Daniel Franco
I don't know. I don't know.

00:48:51:10 - 00:49:11:20
Khadija Gbla
Yeah, well, what's the worst that could happen? Yeah. What is his brain still not working? Is it Still not Jarryd, is it? You know, your accountant who knows his numbers? What does his clothing have to do with his job? I'm just sorry. Nothing more. Why do we have this man that put We're so scared? What are we scared of?

00:49:11:24 - 00:49:31:03
Khadija Gbla
Self-expression. It's why we scared of the expressions. We have a human. We're the only species that has diversity but fights against it, hates it, bullies it, destroys it. All the other species love the diversity. They have a place for it. It's part of the ecosystem. Everything counts except humans. Humans hate that.

00:49:32:20 - 00:49:33:20
Daniel Franco
Why do you think that is?

00:49:33:21 - 00:49:51:00
Khadija Gbla
What was on? They were scared of the unknown. What if that man comes in his tutu and he's a clown? What does that mean for me? What about ourselves? What does that mean for me? It's about us. And I want insecurity holds a mirror. That's why when people see people like us who are out there doing it, they spend time behind it.

00:49:51:00 - 00:50:02:02
Khadija Gbla
Keyboard bashing. I wouldn't do it that way. Why should not fighting male circumcision? I'm not stopping you, Bobo, for fighting male circumcision. They should not fight. You take yours. I have mine. Mm. It's the male.

00:50:02:12 - 00:50:02:19
Daniel Franco
Voice.

00:50:02:20 - 00:50:17:03
Khadija Gbla
Yeah. It's a choice we get. We get our little, little children inside us get triggered. They get to the bodies, but it has to get to where can I have it together? This person is so soft, reflective. Look at the way they show up authentically. I want to show up like that. Maybe I want a way to too.

00:50:17:10 - 00:50:32:17
Khadija Gbla
That's what's up. I know that you don't like that when you just. You want the impression of a tutu and you just don't like that. You may not feel as comfortable to do that. So you're going to project outwards. Why you we need to do in the Office of Professional. Mm. You were given the option you or something maybe other tutu.

00:50:32:22 - 00:50:34:00
Khadija Gbla
Maybe you wait for me.

00:50:34:00 - 00:50:36:02
Daniel Franco
I'll come tomorrow. And the tutu, you think? Yeah.

00:50:37:00 - 00:50:56:12
Khadija Gbla
Now come in. The outfit. I know your heritage. I want to see all the guys possibly coming out of your head and be there for pass that yellow cape. I want to see a pastor cape. He'll give me a cape, a slice of pizza and a slice of cake. Pizza. Cape. Peter can look at that. I like that.

00:50:57:27 - 00:50:58:03
Khadija Gbla
See.

00:50:58:18 - 00:51:04:15
Daniel Franco
What's going through my head right now is if everyone would come dressed as however they want.

00:51:04:16 - 00:51:05:24
Khadija Gbla
On their Friday, for example.

00:51:06:22 - 00:51:13:16
Daniel Franco
Yeah, and you probably wouldn't see extremes because there is the the element of people going, what will people say anyway?

00:51:13:17 - 00:51:25:07
Khadija Gbla
See, that's what I mean. People are not going to take you to that extreme. You actually find a nice medium. People come in their pajamas more than they're likely to come. People come in the hoodie out, which is just coming out already, which is what I find the most, my suspicion of one I.

00:51:25:17 - 00:51:26:13
Daniel Franco
Wonder Woman Yeah.

00:51:26:14 - 00:51:49:01
Khadija Gbla
Exactly. We as humans do want to express ourselves. We want to be vulnerable. But judgment and fear, we spend so much time in that. But if people are happy, I think you get better productivity. People are comforted. We get better productivity. There's a reason they have offices that have casual days for a reason why, when they're scared that people are going to lock up in their in their bikini for casual Friday, somebody have interpreted I don't think anyone has.

00:51:49:02 - 00:52:06:00
Khadija Gbla
Yeah that tells you everything. We are scared of the unknown because we don't know. Well, sometimes we have to be brave. When I stood up to my mum at the age of 13 and said this century all practice that goes all the way back to the Egyptian days before even religion. And I said, In my generation, it ends with me.

00:52:06:14 - 00:52:25:05
Khadija Gbla
I have no way of knowing what's on the other side of that conversation. I didn't know that doing could come out of her house. I was living there. I didn't know she wouldn't pay my school fees or or or not feed me. I didn't know I was a child looking at a system. The representative of a culture that has allowed this and nobody's question, it just went on and on.

00:52:25:05 - 00:52:46:09
Khadija Gbla
Nobody said, Why my foot binding? Somebody had to see why somebody had to say, this is useless, this is ridiculous, or drinking while you are pregnant. Somebody had to see something that we never knew. What is on the other side of any of this. We just know something is not right. We self-reflect it and then we act. If the ten year old Khadija can look her mom in the eye and if they scare you.

00:52:46:09 - 00:52:52:01
Khadija Gbla
African woman who has a wooden spoon always ready. I always stand next to the door. I don't want that. I'm like, standing. What is it.

00:52:52:01 - 00:52:52:13
Daniel Franco
With the.

00:52:52:13 - 00:52:53:25
Khadija Gbla
Africans and the wooden spoon.

00:52:54:08 - 00:52:56:06
Daniel Franco
Or the Italians of the same right, because.

00:52:56:06 - 00:52:59:22
Khadija Gbla
Of the Pakistan? They said, Well, the weapon of choice we had. I grew up.

00:52:59:22 - 00:53:01:05
Daniel Franco
With wooden spoons hanging on the.

00:53:01:05 - 00:53:13:25
Khadija Gbla
Wall. It was a price. And they're different sizes. She's looking at going, What level of will I need for this fucking conversation? And I'm just standing I'm about to go on like this about Hey, Mommy and then out piece out.

00:53:13:25 - 00:53:16:05
Daniel Franco
But I prefer the wooden spoon over the belt.

00:53:16:20 - 00:53:26:26
Khadija Gbla
Oh, no. Oh, don't get me. I'm traumatized. I can never look a bill this time. I can look about the same. I'm traumatized, but I tend to hide all the belts in the house for my mom. But this fear.

00:53:26:28 - 00:53:32:03
Daniel Franco
Let's go back to the non. You're old. That has been mutilated.

00:53:32:03 - 00:53:32:17
Khadija Gbla
Yes.

00:53:33:17 - 00:53:38:08
Daniel Franco
What happened there? Where? What were you thinking?

00:53:38:08 - 00:53:42:20
Khadija Gbla
What What the fuck just happened? Yeah, and there was no conversation. My mom. Just.

00:53:42:20 - 00:53:43:15
Daniel Franco
How did it happen?

00:53:44:00 - 00:53:47:29
Khadija Gbla
I can explain that on this beautiful Friday morning. Do we go on in?

00:53:48:07 - 00:53:48:25
Daniel Franco
Yeah, I think.

00:53:48:28 - 00:54:05:11
Khadija Gbla
You go on. And I'm begging my mindful of all these conversations we're having. So my mom came home and said to me and my sister, we're going on a holiday, given that we're in a refugee camp in Gambia, where are you going to go on a holiday? You mean even that premise made no sense? But culturally, in our culture, you don't argue with your parents.

00:54:05:11 - 00:54:21:23
Khadija Gbla
So we got into a car and we drove to a very regional side of town. Then my mom spoke to an old lady very traditionally to dress because this is her job. We didn't understand the conversation or the context of this conversation whatsoever. The next thing I knew, my mom was dragging me to a second hut with this old lady.

00:54:22:10 - 00:54:43:04
Khadija Gbla
I have to say, this old lady was holding a knife unless he lost the knife. I mean, we have I've seen a metal was the Oriental looking knife. My first thought went, I'm here to be slaughtered. What else would you need a knife for? To be slaughtered? Well, that's not what happened. My mom then took the time to take my clothes off, and between that, the next thing I knew, I was on the floor being pinned down.

00:54:43:24 - 00:55:02:02
Khadija Gbla
And I'm thinking to myself, This is your aunt, This is your mom. She loves you. She's meant to protect you. Either you're going to get killed or something else is happening. She didn't explain. There's no context to anything. I think that was also part of the psychological trauma not being aware or and not having anything to go with except peel of fear.

00:55:02:14 - 00:55:33:04
Khadija Gbla
That's gone into my body. She pin me down and this old lady came towards me with the rusty knife and what would probably take place would have taken one hour. But to me feeling like I was this old lady use her just enough to sort out away at my private lady bits. And I want to use the medical terminology, I mean, because sometimes we don't tend to, but so my labia knowledge or my jaw, which I just lips she started cutting away and what was interesting for me in these situations that I'm trying to beg my mom to get off and to make it stop, and she's doing none of that.

00:55:33:04 - 00:55:54:14
Khadija Gbla
If anything, she's pinning me down further and I guess remember crying, passing out, waking up as she still was going, waking up and passing out. And once it was all done, it was just a woman. You're now a girl, you know, you've grown up. And that and that was the end of the conversation. So I went, we went back home and my mom would make us sit on bathtub full of that oil.

00:55:54:14 - 00:56:18:04
Khadija Gbla
So to this day, if I go to a hospital, I go anywhere and I get even a whiff of Dettol. It's almost like being transported all the way back. It's amazing. Smell, sound, touch how these, you know, they can trigger memories. But to this day, I can't stand Detroit can't stand it. So no medical care beyond that. No anesthesia was given absolute brutality and there was no conversation.

00:56:18:23 - 00:56:42:24
Khadija Gbla
So what I think a year later we came to Australia, never talked about it, no awareness. It was just my brain basically just locked it up at the back of my head, which is a trauma response. It just could not compute the trauma and it would take me, I think maybe a year or two of volunteering at a woman's safety services to find myself stumbling into what was called the Female Genital Mutilation program.

00:56:43:12 - 00:57:01:14
Khadija Gbla
Life is funny, just walked into it. So they did AIDS work. They worked with women who have HIV. They worked with women who had all the, you know, our health issues, but they happened to have an FGM program. My mum sent to that center to get my resumé fixed for year ten to go do some work placement. I walked into a program.

00:57:01:17 - 00:57:20:11
Khadija Gbla
It's my regiment, then decided to volunteer, volunteer for a program. I have no idea what FGM stood for or no connection to a memory of my own until I saw in a pamphlet the three different types of FGM in a description. So pictures type is when they prick the hood of the clitoris or just the tip of the clitoris called off type two.

00:57:20:13 - 00:57:37:18
Khadija Gbla
So when they cut off the whole clitoris and one set of lips and type three can be everything is called off and you're sewn up. So you barely have enough space to even pee, let alone have your period. And the goal of that, that's the ultimate violation in that you will have to be open up on your wedding night.

00:57:40:15 - 00:58:02:07
Khadija Gbla
That's a choice set into somebody say Virgin is in it. You have locked them up completely. So they went from one to we're not not good enough to not not cracking it, do we? Let's see how you go. Now we are talking about girls going to school and spending 30, 45 minutes peeing because it comes out like a dribble that's uncomfortable imagine having your period and not having it come out.

00:58:02:14 - 00:58:06:09
Khadija Gbla
What that would mean for your health, quality of life. It's horrible.

00:58:08:21 - 00:58:10:04
Daniel Franco
I knew that story was coming.

00:58:10:04 - 00:58:17:07
Khadija Gbla
I just it never sits well. You just can't. There's no universe A that can fit anyone.

00:58:18:20 - 00:58:21:22
Daniel Franco
So. So what happens after nothing happened?

00:58:21:27 - 00:58:23:01
Khadija Gbla
As I just wasn't.

00:58:23:08 - 00:58:25:13
Daniel Franco
As in with your body.

00:58:25:28 - 00:58:46:06
Khadija Gbla
For me. And I know growing up, I actually assume everyone was like me. I have no way of thinking anyone wasn't. And it was different. Actually. Thought we were, you know, until I go to school and you talk about sexual health and we've been educated to go along as a culture. So I'm like, well, what's that thing? All you know, you're talking about the fact that, you know, men to constantly be in pain when you have your period.

00:58:46:06 - 00:59:09:06
Khadija Gbla
I get admitted at the emergency period, though. It's like, okay, what does that even mean? All year I was around, what, 17, 18? You have infertility. You may not be able to have babies because you have cystic fibrosis from the FGM I call idiomatic talk is the gift that keeps giving because at every stage of my life it changes and fluctuates and something new pops up, something new pops up, a new consequence pops up.

00:59:09:06 - 00:59:26:18
Khadija Gbla
And then I start the grieving all over again. So I'm back to being angry with my mom. I'm pissed off. I want it to stop. I feel victimized. I feel sad for the little Khadija who cannot be protected. I feel angry for the adult Khadija who has enough shit going on chronically ill wise, does not need this bullshit.

00:59:27:09 - 00:59:29:21
Khadija Gbla
It's a process. It's a process.

00:59:30:00 - 00:59:33:14
Daniel Franco
Your relationship with your mum, her nonexistence.

00:59:33:22 - 00:59:55:23
Khadija Gbla
No, It's hard to have your perpetrator. And I think people can understand this. What? Child abuse is so horrible. You're talking about the people who should care for you and protect you the most when that betrayal takes place, it's almost unfixable. Teach them how to love the parents. We are actually equated to our parents. So when you cut off that string something intercept that.

00:59:56:02 - 01:00:11:00
Khadija Gbla
It's horrible. I love her, but she is. She poses the greatest threat to me. And I said that even at the age of 13 when I first saw my first psychologist, she says, What makes you feel unsafe? She said, Because you have a lot going on. Is it the war of Sierra Leone and the impact of it now?

01:00:11:00 - 01:00:27:17
Khadija Gbla
Still, I'm like, I don't sleep. I'm very hypervigilant. I'm always anxious. I always think they're going to come and take us away. What are we going to go back? I'll wake up and I'm back there and I'm like, No, that's not true. What's making me feel unsafe? She's like, She wishes him like it sucks to be black and the girl and to be young and have all these things come at me.

01:00:27:17 - 01:00:48:24
Khadija Gbla
Not that's not it. So what is it? Living with my perpetrator every single day whose decisions have not impacted me, but everyday she gaslights me and tells me somehow it's okay and it's normal. And when I deal with the health consequences, when I have my people that I'm calling on the floor because I can't even walk properly. She still has the audacity to act like she did me a favor, like she empowered me.

01:00:49:15 - 01:01:14:10
Khadija Gbla
And then when I step, use that power to work in this space to fight this fight, to make sure they're normal. Little as she wages a wall of destruction in my family if they want to turn against me. So why did the amusingly and so know? It's almost like a battle between us. It's a wall of FGM, the perpetrator who doesn't like her victim reminding of her guilt and the victim who's like, It's not actually about you.

01:01:14:10 - 01:01:32:11
Khadija Gbla
I couldn't care less about you. This about people who look like me, little girls. I all I can think of is little candy, just cream. And nobody came to stop it and say, that is not going to be the decision I make. She may have known this was not okay. She may not have known it's not okay, but when she became aware this is unacceptable.

01:01:32:11 - 01:01:50:12
Khadija Gbla
She said, no, she's educated. She chose to do nothing. And my favorite quote is, all it takes for evil to prevail is if we get people to do nothing. That's actually my favorite quote. We are the ones who let evil prevail if we choose and make a choice to be part of the solution. I can't tell how many babies I have protected.

01:01:50:20 - 01:02:04:15
Khadija Gbla
So I have done what I want to do. I want to list. Could you just leave Mitchell? That is what has happened. Less candy just and less my mom, less women who have to feel guilty, less moms to be put in that position, less moms to have to go. I can't love you because we can't reconcile our conditions anymore.

01:02:04:27 - 01:02:12:21
Khadija Gbla
That's okay. I have a bigger purpose to fight. I'm not worried about cuddles at the moment. Your mum, she's a strong.

01:02:12:21 - 01:02:15:08
Daniel Franco
Woman, is the reason why you're alive. Right?

01:02:15:08 - 01:02:23:15
Khadija Gbla
And is it confusing? Is she always in court? Well, I mean. Oh, is it my that you're.

01:02:23:20 - 01:02:27:13
Daniel Franco
She's a big reason why you got through those ten years right.

01:02:27:29 - 01:02:28:22
Khadija Gbla
Oh my whole life.

01:02:28:22 - 01:02:36:01
Daniel Franco
Yeah. And then. And then the contradiction in what she did to you, I can't even comprehend.

01:02:36:02 - 01:02:52:18
Khadija Gbla
It's hard to imagine. And to be honest with you. Look, I love my mom. Actually, my mom was a very strong woman. Most of my best qualities are for my mom. She's stubborn. She's actually. She's confident. She's a go getter. She made us survive. My mom is a huge OG survivor. She may choose to quit in situations most people can't drive.

01:02:52:24 - 01:03:12:01
Khadija Gbla
I'm not in Australia. I'm losing my son. I put on all of that. I pull from that strength. A woman who carried one baby on her back, one on her arm to walk. I think of a different world now. We're going to and the challenges I face and I pull from that. I pull for my mom, who wasn't materialistic, it was about giving us the essential and grounding us in All of that is extra.

01:03:12:02 - 01:03:29:12
Khadija Gbla
If you're happy, you're healthy, you know you've got a good sense, morals and value. The rest will come. Don't chase the Joneses. We don't have to keep up with what everyone is wagging or doing. She also instilled in me values about what's right and wrong. And while she may lose herself every now and then, as she has, she's a beautiful person.

01:03:29:18 - 01:03:54:29
Khadija Gbla
She has her own trauma. My mommy for when trauma and not resolved. That's what it is. I don't feel anger towards her. I feel nothing but empathy. And a couple of years ago we tried to connect, but we just couldn't blend in. What is these identities of not just being a mom and a daughter and a victim and how as someone like me was so strong and we were speaking the truth or nothing but the truth, if you're not willing for two to telling, we can't have peace.

01:03:55:04 - 01:04:11:12
Khadija Gbla
And to me, that's what holding us up. She doesn't want people to and can speak and see. It's to sweep under the rug. To me, that makes you sick. It makes it sick. And that's how FGM continued, swept under the dialog. Do you see those patterns? We do it over and over. I do want to sweep anything under the rug, just like she wanted to sweep my disabilities on.

01:04:11:12 - 01:04:24:08
Khadija Gbla
And I chose to not do that for my son. So he needs in a world where he thinks I can be and do anything. That's how it should be. But I learned from the best. I also learned not to do some good to my mom. I'm grateful.

01:04:25:22 - 01:04:34:25
Daniel Franco
You mentioned earlier just before you, you've had impact on countless amount of babies and children.

01:04:34:25 - 01:04:35:12
Khadija Gbla
And women.

01:04:35:12 - 01:04:39:13
Daniel Franco
And women. Tell us the impact that you're having like. The positive impact that I.

01:04:39:13 - 01:05:00:19
Khadija Gbla
Have so many stories. I mean, I'm glad one of my favorite I have to particular I love is from when I was in Adelaide and I've always been about this is why I started my first education with women and girls who not necessarily have gone to FGM, but wanting to talk about sexual health empowerment and body autonomy. And for years everyone teased me and said I was making nothing out of nothing.

01:05:00:19 - 01:05:17:27
Khadija Gbla
I was a young kid. It wasn't my place to have these conversations. Culturally. She'd be the older woman and then they said that was pandering to whiteness by wanting to have this conversation. And I said, Are you saying our kind of beyond philosophies of sexual health, mental health and and all of this stuff? What do you mean? We're not in a war zone anymore?

01:05:17:27 - 01:05:34:08
Khadija Gbla
Which means now looking after health actually has to be prioritized. But as I'm having this conversation and I remember the girl saying to me, Khadija, about you in a court in Australia, you're called back home. We are not going to be caught. We are safe. We are safe. They assume their safety. I said that may be the case.

01:05:34:08 - 01:05:50:10
Khadija Gbla
What human me If your pains come home one day in a couple of years and say to you, we're going back home or we're taking on this special holiday, you're going to become a woman, something special is going to happen. Can you do me a favor? Call me. I'll call the police. They go, Why? I'm like, Culture is powerful as a force.

01:05:50:29 - 01:06:07:18
Khadija Gbla
Our would have been plucked out of their natural cultural setting where they empowered and they were the majority. And everything goes. They have employment and out in minority there. Then a lot of feelings already being processed. The more you're marginalized, the more you hold on to your culture, even those you may not agree with or don't benefit you.

01:06:07:24 - 01:06:26:04
Khadija Gbla
Y It's all you know. You can see the psychology. So I said, So don't take for granted. You live in Australia and the protections afforded in Australia. They may not apply to you. The last and the Kiwi. Years later I will go to a debate senior college to do a lecture on gender equality. As I was finishing up, one of the young girls came up to me.

01:06:26:04 - 01:06:40:13
Khadija Gbla
She said, Hi college, I'm from your community. She's single union like me. I said, Oh, hi, how are you? Long time no see. She said, You saved my life. I'm like, I haven't seen you for a while. It's not the question of how I do that, she said. You know, I was in one of your workshops and I was one of those people thought this you're blowing things out.

01:06:40:25 - 01:06:55:10
Khadija Gbla
You're not. We are fine. We're going to be okay. And they went to community colleges, always making a big deal out of things. I'm like, That's fine. She said, Well, my mum came home one day and said, We're going to civilian and we were going to have a ceremony and we were going to become a woman. She said, I shouldn't have.

01:06:55:11 - 01:07:10:06
Khadija Gbla
I had these words before and she said, This is years in the making. It's like when I heard this was before she told me, she said, I spoke to my dad and I said that I think I know why mum wants us to travel. That's like why she wants to go perform FGM. That's like, Are you sure? I am sure.

01:07:10:07 - 01:07:26:03
Khadija Gbla
Khadija has talked about this. This is exactly what she said she would say to us when we become a woman. You know what I mean? Why would there be a ceremony? That makes no sense. There's not a wedding. Nothing. There's not a baby christening. What other ceremony will it be? And she spoke to that and said, Does Mum's people believe in this?

01:07:26:03 - 01:07:42:15
Khadija Gbla
And that's like, Yes, they do. So that then put protection in place. They were able to travel safely and she came safely, I can tell you all ten years now down the road, not only is she an entrepreneur, she has an amazing 9 to 5 job. She's healthy. She just got married. She will soon to have a beautiful baby, baby.

01:07:42:24 - 01:08:01:00
Khadija Gbla
And you know what they said about FGM? When we protect one girl, we change a whole generation. And that's actually what's happening because of her. Been protecting her sisters also safe. What can you do with that? So it's not just her life is her sister's like will be her children's life. That's the part that doesn't make me quite the one that makes me always cry because it was right.

01:08:01:10 - 01:08:19:04
Khadija Gbla
It has something to do with domestic violence because for years everyone said FGM does not sit there because of the insinuation that it was women perpetrating it. But you have to think of agents of power. Who has power? Women may be the face of FGM, but they are not the directors of the of the act and the need for the act in communities.

01:08:19:04 - 01:08:37:14
Khadija Gbla
Women said no to FGM. We stopped. Why would it not stop if women said no? Then it's about who is actually driving the act and who are the agents perpetuating it. So people fought hard on this, and I said, I don't think so. I think it's wrong. It is to family and domestic violence, no matter because it's family members who are usually driving.

01:08:37:14 - 01:08:53:11
Khadija Gbla
I don't care who in the family, it's a family member. So should sit on the domestic and family violence. This is where those cultural nuances come in, the way the heart cultural basket gets created and you get a bit more from the mainstream. I refuse for that to happen. So I went to do a talk to a roomful of women who weigh in.

01:08:53:26 - 01:09:14:11
Khadija Gbla
I'm not into Tasmania. I was very confused in how diverse Tasmania was when I called. It was very fucking diverse, but I got there. There were all these survivors in this room and all the supporters there and we were having this conversation where I said to them, from one woman to another, from one mum to another, you may not have choices in what happened to you, but you do bloody fucking have a choice in what happens to your daughters.

01:09:14:15 - 01:09:32:19
Khadija Gbla
Let's not confuse being a victim from not being empowered. Now, as an adult, you need to be what you needed as a child for your daughters and the children in your life who may be impacted. That that's my call of action to you today. I left. I came home, I went to another conference and a worker came up to me and said, Are you kidding?

01:09:32:19 - 01:09:50:04
Khadija Gbla
I said, yes. He goes in our domestic violence shelter, we have a woman who was at one of the sessions. She went home and her husband started having chat that the daughters needed to be mutilated. And she said to her husband, I don't think that's actually right, because I've learned a lot. It has not gone well for me.

01:09:50:04 - 01:10:09:00
Khadija Gbla
Some of the challenges we face in our marriage is because of this. I would wonder for our daughters, he says. Our devotionals would still take them and it will get done She called the shelter and she said to them, I don't know if you take me back and you just said, any shelter in Australia, I should turn up and just say I am my daughters of FGM and that this is family violence and you can't send me away all that.

01:10:09:19 - 01:10:27:12
Khadija Gbla
And she was there and she's safe and educated and safe. That's all that matters. So I think of those and I don't know those girls and I will never know them. And all the girls I, particularly the woman I support to seek help or to look after themselves, I don't actually usually meet them. Their names and their number, but their lives matter.

01:10:27:12 - 01:10:47:11
Khadija Gbla
In the seconds I become aware of it becomes everything that matters to intercept and do what is necessary. One of my favorite one is a little baby girl. She was at Kindi at the time and this breaks my heart all the time because I get so many calls from child care workers who watch my TEDx talk, and it would tell me they're changing and nappy and seen injuries consistent with FGM.

01:10:48:20 - 01:11:16:27
Khadija Gbla
Can you imagine that? Young It's going by really young babies being born not even six months this one was four months old. I'm sorry for crying for months old. And somebody already had already got to her. But the ones that didn't get to, hopefully my goal is always how do I get there in time to intercept, whether that's working with the AFP, working with the police to ensure that passports are seized, making sure we have regular check ups.

01:11:17:27 - 01:11:38:01
Khadija Gbla
It's hot, but it is life and it is actually easier for some of these girls to due to that FGM can become murder, but depends where you are or it's not murder, you are just weak and you die. That's actually said and don't get me started on the millions of women who live every day will decide the fate of FGM, which is why I created it.

01:11:38:01 - 01:12:05:13
Khadija Gbla
There's a flower center right in Adelaide to provide trauma informed care surgery support free of charge to women all over the world, especially the Asia-Pacific region, to come and get the care they deserve. So that's for little Khadija and that's what adult Khadija. So my mum may have done a bad thing, but she committed she to our story, our and different legacy and story was created and this is why we mined her in the one time we've had a pop up on this.

01:12:05:22 - 01:12:24:06
Khadija Gbla
I said, It's not about you. I love you. This is such a lot about you. I don't think about you and I'm doing this. I am driven by love, not actually anger, fear anymore. Love, love, full womanhood to be protected, Love for every child to be allowed to be safe, to not have to live this way, to not even have to comprehend the world where this is a reality.

01:12:24:15 - 01:12:39:17
Khadija Gbla
That's what drives me. Anger would have worn me out by now. 23 years later, I'm still standing, still going, Sorry. No, don't be sorry. Nobody gets traumatized. Send your consulting fees to Danielle. You will pay for it.

01:12:42:06 - 01:12:52:17
Daniel Franco
I think the only thing I can say is thank you for everything that you're doing. It's obviously very meaningful. What? I'm actually lost for words.

01:12:53:20 - 01:12:54:14
Khadija Gbla
That's a good thing.

01:12:55:00 - 01:13:07:23
Daniel Franco
What can we do? I think like I've got two young daughters. This is hitting me. Yes. What can we do?

01:13:09:09 - 01:13:22:21
Khadija Gbla
I think we can start by loving the babies in our lives. And I see that all the time. And people think I'm going to say some huge. I go, no, we have to love and protect them. We need to make sure they're sassy, they're bossy, they have a voice. We don't force them to hug people. They don't need to hug.

01:13:22:21 - 01:13:40:14
Khadija Gbla
These are simple love, but they are part of protecting them. You don't need to hug that Uncle Angel. Hug that auntie don't need to sit on anybody's lap. You know, if somebody tells you something to keep a secret I will believe you. You don't need to hide it. I wouldn't blame me. We need to say that our teenagers, if you go out and you knew how it was situation called me.

01:13:40:14 - 01:13:55:26
Khadija Gbla
I don't care what you did. I don't care who did what. I will pick up our children. I live in a world that's very unsafe in ways we could not have imagined generations before. We're talking about social media, we're talking about grooming, we're talking about game. So we're talking about teach us about the people we think they should be the safest.

01:13:55:26 - 01:14:14:19
Khadija Gbla
We are targeting them. All we have is that love. We say to them and the love we show them and the we give them to have a voice to tell us when something is not right to trust that we will hold space for their experiences, that we will listen to them. Now We will not protect anyone else. We will protect them.

01:14:14:19 - 01:14:28:01
Khadija Gbla
They matter whether we have to break up with Uncle Paul or the family, it doesn't matter. What matters is those babies are okay. The world where they're empowered, they have a voice. When somebody says, I'm going to do that to you, they go, I'm going to tell my mom. I'm going to tell my dad. I'm going to tell somebody.

01:14:28:06 - 01:14:44:22
Khadija Gbla
When somebody says, keep this a secret, they go, We don't keep a secret in my home. It starts as simple as that. It starts with making sure our boys and girls are least equally teach your daughters, take them to tennis. Let them choose the toys they want. Do not them to their gender. If your child is gender diverse, love them.

01:14:44:28 - 01:15:18:00
Khadija Gbla
They are still your child disabled. They're different. They're gifts. I can't get over. They are gifts. Love them and protect them. The rest is it's extra that they just want us. That's our job, you know, nothing political. It's really just simple. Well, beyond that, I think as a nation, as organizations, you know, our own gender policies at work, your caregivers leave your domestic, leave your disability leave looking into that issue, also saying something you it's you making the point on what culture you want.

01:15:18:07 - 01:15:35:13
Khadija Gbla
What services do you want? Mentoring programs to bring up the young, Give them a chance. Choose minority minority groups. I mean, I'm who I am because people give me a chance. I had mentors, people who taught Khadijah has something to offer. You have something to say. I'll give you a platform like today. You're giving me a platform to come here.

01:15:35:17 - 01:15:51:17
Khadija Gbla
We can talk about me being sick and unwell instead of talking about what is truly at the heart of why I'm as a person. I'm a mum. Yes, I am a carer, but at the heart of the I'm a humanitarian. I'm all about people's humanity. How do we protect it? How do we give people dignity? How do we give them a voice?

01:15:51:27 - 01:16:13:07
Khadija Gbla
How do we come together with a shared humanity rather than looking at our point of differences? How do we celebrate those differences? If I was just a card girl who then said, Well, this is horrible, I talk about too bad that's just been destroyed that day. I just said, Oh, I've neglected your kid who speaks eight languages. Nobody can ever understand me because I've just ended there.

01:16:13:26 - 01:16:32:29
Khadija Gbla
But instead I looked at my story, I looked at my circumstances, and what I saw was an opportunity to do my part to change the story. From my point of view. From that point on, when I knew better, I did better, and that's what I was asking my mum to decide not to blame her for what she's actually already done.

01:16:33:06 - 01:16:53:05
Khadija Gbla
It was to say, You know better, I'm challenging you to now do better to be a model for others. So I think I would like to simplify that way. Nothing political, nothing grand they'll need to take to the streets is how you raise your kids at home. The share of labor, how we talk to them, how we treat them, how we treat our colleagues, the work culture we have.

01:16:53:15 - 01:16:59:02
Khadija Gbla
These are the simple things. People don't like them. They're not sexy, but it's the building block of our society. Did you.

01:16:59:02 - 01:17:03:12
Daniel Franco
Before I watched your TEDx talk, I didn't even know this.

01:17:03:12 - 01:17:05:09
Khadija Gbla
Existed. Like most people.

01:17:06:12 - 01:17:11:14
Daniel Franco
And what role can I play?

01:17:12:04 - 01:17:34:01
Khadija Gbla
This TEDx talk is a role. The amount of people who watch it in an inner circle where this might not be within their realm, to be honest with you. That's the power of podcasts and why people say, Why do you do them so much? They've been paid. There's no money. I'm like, You people don't understand currency. I get to be in the bedrooms and houses and cars and rooms with people who don't get to actually physically meet me.

01:17:34:06 - 01:17:52:24
Khadija Gbla
The accessibility of this mode of communication. What's it about parents listening teachers there'll be Kindi people carers. See? Oh, so I'm going, oh gee, I don't have a disability. Maybe I should look into that. Oh, what's my gender divide in my workplace? This is about genitals. What? We have come down to the nitty details. Yes, we started genital warts, all connected.

01:17:53:00 - 01:18:12:05
Khadija Gbla
It's all connected. I think for those listening, I'm back to work. If anyone is a keynote speaker, a cultural consultant, my mum is happy to help out because, you know, having taken 12 months now, you take 12 months off Daniel and it feels like the world has changed. I feel disorientated. I was at the board meeting the other day and I have not sat in a boardroom for 8 hours.

01:18:12:05 - 01:18:31:04
Khadija Gbla
I went, Oh my God, kill me, Jesus work. But then I was like, No, you must work. You must work now. For me, it's collaboration is the key. So if you want to collaborate, whoever wants to collaborate, working together, those that cultural intelligence, bringing those other thought processes, I think is what makes our world go around. That's how you can support my work.

01:18:32:05 - 01:18:46:19
Khadija Gbla
That's simple. And it's a killer motto for me. Daniel and Wesley, all the people listening. Mr. Hoodie Man, I love hoodie. I'll be a model for you. I'm cute. I'm cute. I'm a model. Part time for this.

01:18:46:20 - 01:18:50:25
Daniel Franco
For context on that, what do you when they forget he has been on this show, who is the founder of.

01:18:51:04 - 01:18:54:11
Khadija Gbla
I Dave me like you like people the older you thank you.

01:18:55:01 - 01:18:56:16
Daniel Franco
I'll send it can we clip that and I'll.

01:18:56:16 - 01:19:07:22
Khadija Gbla
Send it I like sashimi. I was about to tell it. It's autistic friendly friendly. Look, we're going.

01:19:07:22 - 01:19:11:09
Daniel Franco
To run out of time. I haven't even asked any of these questions on my list.

01:19:11:09 - 01:19:17:05
Khadija Gbla
To have me a second time. You have to have a part to you. People are going to say, give her a pot to apply to comedian.

01:19:17:07 - 01:19:18:00
Daniel Franco
I think there'll be more.

01:19:18:01 - 01:19:18:18
Khadija Gbla
I think you have to.

01:19:18:27 - 01:19:20:06
Daniel Franco
Know we will because I think.

01:19:21:00 - 01:19:21:03
Khadija Gbla
But.

01:19:21:06 - 01:19:52:06
Daniel Franco
This is a business podcast and I think what you have brought to the table is, is is life lessons, right, that we should be applying and thinking about into business correct and oh, I don't know what it is. I've got so many questions. So we just touched on culture and cultural intelligence then, which is something that we're seeing a lot of lack of and somewhat, I would say a lot of token gestures as as well.

01:19:52:22 - 01:19:54:02
Daniel Franco
It is amazing.

01:19:54:25 - 01:19:59:10
Khadija Gbla
Yeah. Oh, there's people speaking it up on stage and they're not walking the walk just.

01:19:59:10 - 01:20:06:01
Daniel Franco
To, you know, use acknowledgment for the country just because they have to, what they feel like they have to as a person.

01:20:06:09 - 01:20:06:27
Khadija Gbla
Of country.

01:20:07:00 - 01:20:07:09
Daniel Franco
Yeah.

01:20:08:12 - 01:20:17:07
Khadija Gbla
For the sake of it is the template one as well. It's not even the one they haven't even change. What is your thoughts on the actual county's code? And that might be helpful.

01:20:17:08 - 01:20:32:21
Daniel Franco
Business in a leadership perspective, what can we do to remove any token gesture and actually make it something that is important to all, especially to those who have a different perspective?

01:20:32:21 - 01:20:53:20
Khadija Gbla
Or I think we need to be curious. Part of the problem with tokenism and I think and cultural intelligence and people have been interested in that which is good is the lack of curiosity and not knowing the why they're interested in it. You need to know why. It's not just we're asking for cultural diversity for the sake of it cultural diversity is a innately good thing.

01:20:53:20 - 01:21:15:09
Khadija Gbla
It's a positive thing in any business, in any organization. That's a why that's only good enough. But the second part is actually implementing it. It's not as good enough as telling a black person, Asian worker in your office, you got cheek. Actually, it's not. You're just getting started. Have you factored in their cultural safety then how you engage with them, how they engage with clients, what their cultural needs are?

01:21:15:09 - 01:21:34:17
Khadija Gbla
And I'll give you an example. I got invited to sit on the Advertising Standards Board, so if are in Australia and you have any adverts from radio to TV to billboards to shops on and you have an issue with it, whether it's racism, sexism, it's stupid, whatever it is, that advert comes to us and we as a board decide which is a code, it has a code.

01:21:34:17 - 01:21:53:13
Khadija Gbla
We ask for it to be taken down. If it hasn't, will dismiss it. I joined this board. It was very white to begin with, and then they did a spruce of diversity hire. They went, I found the loudest mouthpiece and they found all the way down in South Australia. Natasha Stott-Despoja was it So when she left, this is the power of not mentoring what sponsorship is.

01:21:53:13 - 01:22:07:16
Khadija Gbla
I'm just saying there's an opportunity over there, Khadija, which will be mentoring sponsorship, and she put my name down, booked it all in, All I had to do was show up with my baby in maternity leave. So, so much. And it is minding my business being a milking fucking cow. That's why they're single pimping, pimping people going everywhere.

01:22:07:24 - 01:22:22:17
Khadija Gbla
The next I'm grabbing this baby boy. Let's go to a fucking meeting so we can discuss adverts and they give me these pictures. What will you decide what I'm like? Oh, fuck, That's bullshit. Oh, why would anyone be complaining about that? What's fucking wrong with people? And it's like, Oh, well, you're hired. Then you go shop 80 years later.

01:22:22:25 - 01:22:42:08
Khadija Gbla
But I remember sitting there for the first couple of months every day we came to the meetings and they had sandwiches sitting, going like people, people for the second time, their small sandwiches, that fucking look, I'm a goat, my fucking goat. The third time I'm like, That's it, Enough of this bullshit. I said, Missy, or can I please have a chat with you?

01:22:42:08 - 01:22:59:07
Khadija Gbla
She goes, Mike, So it's been a pleasure. As bold and lovely to see diversity around the table. But as a cultural consultant, I must tell you cultural diversity and cultural safety means beyond just putting us here. So the way the meetings are going has to be culturally inclusive. I, for one, hate email. So can you stop with this?

01:22:59:08 - 01:23:14:14
Khadija Gbla
The emails call me. I want to talk to you. Thank you. Second of all, it would be good to give us time for us with accents so people can have time to understand what we're saying, what's going to be repeated in English the second time around. Thank you very much. Most importantly, Madam, the food is racist. So I don't do sandwiches.

01:23:14:20 - 01:23:32:00
Khadija Gbla
I don't. In a world of diversity, there still seems there's a whole world that she loves. Why the fuck would I want you? Sandwich? Is there any focaccia? For fuck's sake, It's a fucking sandwich. It's a two soggy bread with a cucumber. So the less a specifically so since when I have some with.

01:23:32:01 - 01:23:32:12
Daniel Franco
The other.

01:23:32:12 - 01:23:39:28
Khadija Gbla
Needs and they say revolt now hot food. There's hot food and there's sandwiches for the pale still white men and they can have this.

01:23:40:05 - 01:23:42:17
Daniel Franco
There is a lesson there though I think that's.

01:23:42:17 - 01:24:01:19
Khadija Gbla
Cultural and tell you safety in one example this is how I teach my workshops are not so this is culture. And then I give examples wing a plate. Yeah, Wing a plate in what? Other cultural context beyond Australia do you tell somebody coming to the house to bring you your plate? You know, my mum used to say, why people have no plates in their houses.

01:24:02:04 - 01:24:21:09
Khadija Gbla
Why do inviting those who don't have a plate? Maybe they should sort the plate problem out. Cultural context. We assume nobody outside of Australia tells you that when your plate well also know what this also tells you to bring food. Why would you invite me to your house and make me bring you food? I might as well stay in my house and eat my food.

01:24:21:15 - 01:24:34:24
Khadija Gbla
Why am I bringing food that's not hospitality, know? And they'll give me side on the cheese platters. What am I, a goat? A fucking goat again? Jesus Christ. Give us food. Give me pasta.

01:24:35:12 - 01:24:38:12
Daniel Franco
Can't you sitting here with a Brazilian and an Italian.

01:24:38:24 - 01:24:40:13
Khadija Gbla
So you know what I'm saying?

01:24:41:03 - 01:25:03:27
Daniel Franco
This for me is a thing. If I go to someone's house and I get the plate food put on my plate on my placemat in front of me, like they've chosen what I can eat. I can see I twitching, as I say, like, like this is what are you doing for me? It has to be all over the time.

01:25:04:04 - 01:25:19:04
Khadija Gbla
You have to go put food on your mum. My mom or my wife are the only exception to that rule. You are not allowed to look. How will you know the fuck of what they eat? How do you know how many quarter of the pasta and the sauce? You don't know nothing about what I Absolutely. That's how they control you.

01:25:19:11 - 01:25:21:22
Khadija Gbla
They control you, Daniel. Like, that's your portion.

01:25:21:22 - 01:25:25:04
Daniel Franco
I will. I will judge if that happens.

01:25:25:23 - 01:25:30:08
Khadija Gbla
I am the housewife and that I am that you can eat, that I'm not having it.

01:25:31:10 - 01:25:33:20
Daniel Franco
And there has to be a selection.

01:25:33:20 - 01:25:51:00
Khadija Gbla
And take our bowls. And if pants are not open my mouth. Oh, yes. If you don't take it, if you don't have takeaway bowls and your pants are not open, are you even alive? Does she even fucking know you? You know, I have to go with washing my car in my trunk. I'm always ready for takeaway. We're not wasting that food.

01:25:51:00 - 01:25:52:06
Daniel Franco
That is hilarious. Oh, yeah.

01:25:52:06 - 01:25:52:25
Khadija Gbla
Food coma.

01:25:52:28 - 01:26:05:12
Daniel Franco
We've said this. We said this in our other chat is cultural. Yeah, I remember going to Manon this house. And the first thing that she would ask me is she didn't speak English. She would say Majesty, which means, have you eaten or is the first thing.

01:26:05:13 - 01:26:08:03
Khadija Gbla
Yes, you have. You have eaten 5 minutes of that. You still eat.

01:26:08:03 - 01:26:08:11
Daniel Franco
It.

01:26:09:07 - 01:26:10:18
Khadija Gbla
Mind your mind, just eat.

01:26:10:18 - 01:26:12:19
Daniel Franco
I'll blame that on I'm overweight. And this I think.

01:26:13:17 - 01:26:20:29
Khadija Gbla
Food is love, Daniel. The food is love. If you don't have food, how do we should? We have gone on a journey, But I'm.

01:26:21:07 - 01:26:23:20
Daniel Franco
100%. I think we have to do another one, which.

01:26:23:20 - 01:26:24:16
Khadija Gbla
I've got the part to.

01:26:24:27 - 01:26:27:19
Daniel Franco
Punt. But I want to talk because I have all these.

01:26:27:19 - 01:26:35:03
Khadija Gbla
Questions when I go back to what I want. Job opportunities. You have taken that away from me. All this genital talk, money, enough money talk which had.

01:26:35:10 - 01:26:38:00
Daniel Franco
But right now if you're sitting in in my chair.

01:26:38:03 - 01:26:38:16
Khadija Gbla
Yes.

01:26:39:00 - 01:26:45:18
Daniel Franco
And you're asking yourself one question, what what what is the question that you think most people would want to hear the answer to?

01:26:45:21 - 01:27:07:20
Khadija Gbla
What makes me happy because most of my work, you know, is so deep. I have people who think I watch documentaries. I'm like, I don't watch it. I watch trashy shows. Give me a bored housewife is an alcoholic. At 6 p.m., he's like, She hasn't come home. And what, me? Some diamonds fucking headed, whistling mimosa. What? I'm like, You go, girl.

01:27:07:20 - 01:27:26:14
Khadija Gbla
You tell her. You tell that man. And I see it going off. Oh, Then I watch one that goes, I've never seen beat in my life. You know, Duke bought the house for 1 million. I didn't make it 5 million to renovate it. And I've never seen it before in my life. And Bill can imagine that. You've never seen a bill in your life.

01:27:26:22 - 01:27:43:04
Khadija Gbla
I want to never see a bill in my life. I watch that to dumb my brain. I'm like, Well, all is well in the world the housewives are fighting this ishaku he bored if I fucking see one watch? Actually bored. There's more to say than I've seen in my entire life. That was it will pay my bills. Thank you.

01:27:43:05 - 01:28:03:27
Khadija Gbla
Do they want a black? Maybe. Maybe we could all be adopted at this point. But no. What makes me happy? Those moment watching TV. A woosh that kills my brain. But the extremes in my life from the genitals and DV to mimosa at 9 a.m. just woken up. But she's like, Give me more. I love people getting.

01:28:03:27 - 01:28:04:24
Daniel Franco
Married at first sight.

01:28:04:24 - 01:28:25:22
Khadija Gbla
So people get mad at the fed side to people getting set up. So only fans. I'm like, Will a toenail work? Can I just do my tools? Could that work? I could do that. I don't know. Danielle What it gives me joy, it's that it's it's the goofy and the absolute stupidity. You expect somebody serious. You expect somebody who's just like, Oh, it's all happiness.

01:28:25:27 - 01:28:33:29
Khadija Gbla
The from a dictionary that could not be further from the truth. I want to talk smack. I'm not a bloody fucking lot of smack. That's what I want to talk about.

01:28:34:10 - 01:28:36:18
Daniel Franco
When you came in here, we were talking about Angelina Jolie.

01:28:37:22 - 01:28:49:06
Khadija Gbla
Who's giving up a black baby, who's adopting to black. Maybe I do what I want and I got one that might be up for grabs. I got a freeloader in my house to the dog. And maybe if you want to mine Diamond.

01:28:49:09 - 01:28:50:08
Daniel Franco
I met your dog. What was your.

01:28:50:08 - 01:29:06:22
Khadija Gbla
Dog's my love? That's the freeloader number two. Who needs to get a job? I'm going to make him insta famous for anyone who works in pet insurance. Milo is available for free photo shoot, and we'll be happy to model for you. He is the son of a human rights activist after all. Just to win the pet insurance something.

01:29:07:08 - 01:29:10:10
Khadija Gbla
Yeah, I SPCA. Don't call me. He's fine.

01:29:11:02 - 01:29:19:18
Daniel Franco
What as we as we got into the end of this week you have hope and optimism for what you're doing.

01:29:19:18 - 01:29:25:25
Khadija Gbla
Oh you have to God, it's depressing what I do. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, my God, it is so depressing.

01:29:25:25 - 01:29:29:12
Daniel Franco
Sometimes I have hope and optimism for the potential of change.

01:29:29:18 - 01:29:46:03
Khadija Gbla
I have to. My work is built on The premise of change is possible. The moment I lose that, then it's all for nothing. We have to believe If Nelson Mandela didn't believe what he believed, where would we be? If Gandhi didn't believe what he did? What would you do if Mother Theresa didn't believe not the Queen? I don't know what the Queen has done.

01:29:46:03 - 01:30:05:29
Khadija Gbla
Sorry. Who else has done this? If you didn't believe me, then people wouldn't be like, Oh my God, I can be a change maker. What? You have to believe in the possibility of change. Hope. I know that people don't like hope, but I have to be hopeful. I believe hope is a powerful tool. It's my hope that we can eradicate FGM like we did foot binding.

01:30:06:04 - 01:30:30:28
Khadija Gbla
If I don't believe in that, then it wouldn't be worth it for the girls. I don't get to. That's what makes me pick myself back up and go, I will do it out. I will be there in time. I would intercept in time. I'll do my best at the next time. I have to have that hope. But when I think of that little girl who now is an entrepreneur, one in her 9 to 5 job who's amazing and thriving, and I look at her sister and I think of your children and you have or the two girls have never met or the I will never meet.

01:30:30:28 - 01:30:48:17
Khadija Gbla
I think of their lives very often. I think of how different it is for mine that makes life fucking what that is, what the cost of the job as well. Whether it's the ostracization from my community or the attack or the we're going to leave you going to take your child, We're going to do this. I go, No, all it takes for evil to prevail.

01:30:48:24 - 01:30:53:28
Khadija Gbla
If you give people nothing, that's not my that's not going to be my best day. And here we are.

01:30:54:00 - 01:31:01:27
Daniel Franco
If you could go back to when you were nine years old and skip over that moment.

01:31:02:05 - 01:31:02:20
Khadija Gbla
I wouldn't do.

01:31:02:20 - 01:31:03:15
Daniel Franco
It. You wouldn't do it.

01:31:03:22 - 01:31:21:08
Khadija Gbla
Do it now. Neil, we are all the sons of our experiences. You you take anyone, you changes, you change you. We change my story. A minority. I wouldn't be this Khadija. So this is why he's my mom. I don't hate the circumstances. What matters to me so much? No. What has happened is how to make it not continue to happen.

01:31:21:08 - 01:31:36:12
Khadija Gbla
I don't choose to live in the past. I'm living in the present, the now and the future. So if I can name of girls and women and people's life, I've impacted those 3 million you're talking about. Those are champions in their lives of going to make change. You have stopped this in their family, have gone to their working places and gone.

01:31:36:12 - 01:31:53:16
Khadija Gbla
We are going to do something about these sponsors, people like I'm going to volunteer my time. Khadija, what do you need? How do we galvanize and empower people? Call me. I think we got it. But that is the change. That's the beauty of this. It's no longer ugly to got mutilated. It's now that of we will stop the 2 million.

01:31:53:29 - 01:32:20:00
Khadija Gbla
We will stop no more little carriages. What's more powerful than that? Things about me anymore we have It's surpassed me Bigger than me, bigger than you. The change me one. I was bigger than all of us. But we all must make a conscious choice to be part of that change. Even as as caring for the kids within your space of influence, how you treat them, how you care for them, how you teach gender equality, how you pick those which agenda type of who cooks, who does what.

01:32:20:10 - 01:32:38:12
Khadija Gbla
Just tackling that is already you put in a pain to each of you that you tackle in FGM because you are saying these are the factors that lead to this and we're tackling it. We tackle it here. The diversity of your employment, your your leave, your DV leave, the equality, your promotions. Danielle That's all part of we're talking about.

01:32:38:16 - 01:32:43:04
Khadija Gbla
It's part of the mechanism, the system. We all just do our bit and it all adds up.

01:32:43:13 - 01:32:51:04
Daniel Franco
We've got to finish up and finish off the podcast with a bunch of quickfire questions, but I know you've got to shoot home.

01:32:51:04 - 01:32:51:22
Khadija Gbla
Yeah, that's how.

01:32:52:04 - 01:32:53:12
Daniel Franco
You got time for the Question Time.

01:32:53:12 - 01:32:56:05
Khadija Gbla
You got time and wonderful experience. All right.

01:32:56:21 - 01:32:59:28
Daniel Franco
Let's Let's quickly run through what excites you about the future.

01:33:00:13 - 01:33:08:01
Khadija Gbla
My son. Yeah. What is possible? Mining diamonds at eight, Investment at eight? What is possible with that man?

01:33:08:21 - 01:33:10:29
Daniel Franco
This is scary or exciting Excites me.

01:33:10:29 - 01:33:19:11
Khadija Gbla
I want to know. I want that mental. I want out chat. I want somebody to just sit down and be like, Let's crack this shit up. Sorry, guys.

01:33:19:16 - 01:33:21:13
Daniel Franco
We're big readers here. Are you reading anything? Right.

01:33:21:14 - 01:33:28:01
Khadija Gbla
No, I'm about to be that at the moment. My plan is to overload. It goes too slow. I can't. I like audio. I like it to be read to me the opposite way.

01:33:28:01 - 01:33:30:27
Daniel Franco
And step outside of your TEDx talk. What's your favorite TEDx talk?

01:33:31:22 - 01:33:48:10
Khadija Gbla
I don't have any. It is quite sad. I don't like other people's TED talk. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just precious. I haven't even listened to mine to take. No offense to it. I don't have time. I'm watching the women get drunk and slap each other. Daniel Jesus priorities with the book. Watching bitches slap each other. Which one are you going to choose?

01:33:50:25 - 01:33:53:06
Daniel Franco
What's one? Listen, this took you the longest to learn.

01:33:54:12 - 01:34:13:03
Khadija Gbla
Oh, I am amazing. No. When you grow up in abuse, you grow up, you know, being defeated and put down. And you have so many points of difference, it can be hard to remember that you are. I am so much the product of my environment and. And sponge. I'm African, I'm Australian. I mean, you know, I'm a modern mom.

01:34:13:03 - 01:34:30:09
Khadija Gbla
I'm this I'm that it can be hard sometimes to not lose in there yourself so having to remind myself I'm actually okay but I'm also more than all of that I'm more than what I do I am just Khadija and that's also okay. Yeah. You hear that?

01:34:30:09 - 01:34:37:11
Daniel Franco
You can have you can have an I don't drink coffee if you can have a meal with one historical or current figure.

01:34:37:19 - 01:34:37:26
Khadija Gbla
Mm.

01:34:38:07 - 01:34:38:25
Daniel Franco
Who would it be?

01:34:39:08 - 01:35:00:12
Khadija Gbla
Give me a paella, some tacos, mango glitter, champagne. And I want to talk to Jesus. Jesus. I talk to the man. They teach me how to make water into wine. Has nobody not thought about this question? I could save money. Jesus, Danielle get your priorities right. I got to have a mimosa with my. My, my teammates from Real Housewives of Beverly Subway.

01:35:00:20 - 01:35:04:23
Khadija Gbla
No. Well, yes. Honestly, I want to talk to Jesus. Would be have a chat, would.

01:35:04:23 - 01:35:05:10
Daniel Franco
Be an interesting.

01:35:05:12 - 01:35:21:18
Khadija Gbla
Well, I think Jesus would have a good time with me. The woman from the. Well, yeah, she's got nothing. Mary Magdalene has nothing on me. I be like, Jesus, what the thing about the clitoris. What's your take on the clitoris? Is it amazing? Jesus, I think it's amazing. Bringing it back will be a good power to show off your power.

01:35:21:23 - 01:35:25:28
Khadija Gbla
What if Jesus going to restore your clitoris Now that's better than walking on water. He would.

01:35:25:29 - 01:35:26:14
Daniel Franco
Leprosy.

01:35:27:08 - 01:35:33:20
Khadija Gbla
You know, bleeding the clitoris. Mark. Jesus. Can we start the campaign? Jesus wing back the clitoris. Hashtag Jesus. Bring it back.

01:35:35:14 - 01:35:39:01
Daniel Franco
I never thought anyone could ever ask that question to Jesus Christ.

01:35:39:07 - 01:35:54:03
Khadija Gbla
I am. I am ready for again. So excited next Easter when he wakes up. Man him have an appointment. You tell him that somebody will get in his calendar when he wakes up next Easter. I want to chat for everyone listening. I am a Christian. Calm down. We're all going to be okay. That's my father in law too.

01:35:54:03 - 01:35:56:19
Khadija Gbla
Thank you very much. Support him before they come for me.

01:35:59:10 - 01:36:00:09
Daniel Franco
I don't know where they go from here.

01:36:00:25 - 01:36:01:22
Khadija Gbla
We know Jesus.

01:36:02:23 - 01:36:05:08
Daniel Franco
What? Some of the best advice I've ever received.

01:36:05:13 - 01:36:22:12
Khadija Gbla
I think it was the one where my mentor says, Know your value and your worth. I used to undercut myself. I'm being an activist because I came from that background before going into business. Everyone wanted everything to be free for so long it was free. And even now, people who try me, I stop talking on the phone with people where I would say, No, no, no, we'll have a nice chat.

01:36:22:12 - 01:36:35:22
Khadija Gbla
Send me an email because you can manipulate me over email. I can either go yes or no. I've heard you, but the fact that people get manipulative. Oh, well, you believe in these things like I got bills to pay. I have two freeloaders. I have a plot of land for mining for an year old and go to work.

01:36:36:00 - 01:36:54:19
Khadija Gbla
Please pay me what I'm doing. But also talk about the gender pay gap. We don't talk about the cultural pay gap. Do you know my female white counterparts? What consultants make more money than me today? So I guess in my they make more money than me because somehow, even with lived experience on the penis in my work, it's still not good enough.

01:36:54:19 - 01:37:12:22
Khadija Gbla
They get paid more. It only gives them a solid traveling business class as part of when I travel and I say to people, But my clients, you know, that's the flight I want. I don't want the normal flight for this very reason. They're like, Oh, you can. I've always had that. How would I know that? What I know my white counterparts always have this extra, extra bonus just because I guess you come from the past.

01:37:12:27 - 01:37:28:17
Khadija Gbla
Even I do away. I'm like, I'm a humanitarian. I want to make a difference. Sometimes that can cloud money part because I'm going, Oh, it's the hot, hot and the brain coming. It's like, Oh, which one is going to lead? I'm like, Bill's the freeloader, the freeloader. Then I'm like, Okay, let's focus on them out here. So I to remember my child like nothing.

01:37:28:27 - 01:37:45:27
Khadija Gbla
Not everything can be free, but I think I struggle with that. And my mentor said to know my value and my wait until I'm my Khadijah fucking black. She's like, Do you know what your what? Just you standing there, the way you speak, the way you can capture it. Nobody can do that. So do not think less of yourself, Bill.

01:37:45:29 - 01:38:07:00
Khadija Gbla
Accordingly, somebody afford this when they can't, it's. It's nothing about you. It was powerful. And she was a woman of color as well. She said she doesn't she didn't get paid either as a CEO. Well, compared to her white counterparts can you imagine that? And she was a CEO. So yeah, I work hard on that every day. Nowadays, knowing my worth and remembering that I was submissive.

01:38:07:00 - 01:38:07:08
Khadija Gbla
I still.

01:38:07:09 - 01:38:09:10
Daniel Franco
Love them. What's your biggest pet peeve?

01:38:11:28 - 01:38:29:26
Khadija Gbla
People in general? I'm autistic. I don't like people that much. I'm sorry. I think the exhaust me is too much and I never know the cultural context, the social cues and I know mental block that either you shoot somebody this morning, Now what the fuck did you tell me about it? You cut your hair, nobody notice. I notice.

01:38:29:26 - 01:38:41:20
Khadija Gbla
What? You don't like it too bad. I'm sorry. So it's just like you want eye contact. Why are we in love? Why do I have to look you in the fucking eye? Jesus, I can't. So neurotypical people are my pets peeve. I'm. I said it.

01:38:43:24 - 01:38:47:01
Daniel Franco
Was a can't wait to see. What's the first thing you would.

01:38:47:01 - 01:38:50:28
Khadija Gbla
Do if you're looking to come for me if I get canceled? Danielle protecting me. I got bills to pay.

01:38:52:18 - 01:38:55:19
Daniel Franco
What's the first thing you do if you became invisible otherwise?

01:38:55:25 - 01:39:02:14
Khadija Gbla
Oh, my God. What will I do? Oh, my God. Can I still go to the bank? I'm allowed to see that.

01:39:04:07 - 01:39:06:17
Daniel Franco
You're allowed to say that, but I don't.

01:39:06:17 - 01:39:11:18
Khadija Gbla
Know what else you do with the power. If I go to space, can I go to space? Can I get.

01:39:11:26 - 01:39:14:20
Daniel Franco
Visible? Not defying the laws of physics.

01:39:15:04 - 01:39:24:01
Khadija Gbla
Daniel, I don't like what you see. I don't like this game. It makes no sense to me. Danielle, be visible. I'll go where? Can't go. Why can't you not go?

01:39:25:01 - 01:39:26:23
Daniel Franco
It's the fly on the wall moment, right?

01:39:27:03 - 01:39:40:14
Khadija Gbla
What do you think is with what? The Prime Minister's office? I only just listen to him. I don't even want to listen to him. He's bowing. I want to go Trump office, Trump's office. I want to know what that idiot is doing. Oh, yes. I want to be where Trump is. I just want to watch him. And he's natural.

01:39:40:19 - 01:39:55:11
Khadija Gbla
Always I on time, you know? Let me see. I want to see how he eats, what he takes that to pay off his head as soon as he goes in. Trump I want to go observe Trump Be a fly in the wall. Yeah, very. I do not be excited.

01:39:55:11 - 01:39:56:20
Daniel Franco
We have to finish up now.

01:39:56:21 - 01:40:03:27
Khadija Gbla
Are you sure you're also going to want to watch Meghan Markle and her husband? I want to see happening at home. I want to see Lili Lilibet.

01:40:06:02 - 01:40:16:04
Daniel Franco
Wait, wait, wait. And we find you. How do we get in contact and how does anyone, you know, use it as a consultant, business and all?

01:40:16:11 - 01:40:39:16
Khadija Gbla
So you all have my consent to stalk me. Let's get the consent out of the way that you can find me on Instagram on the Queen. Khadija, You can my website online as well. Khadija Blatter come that A You and I am available for all things training consultancy, project management, Keynote speaking. Oh, and voice overs because, you know, why not diversify my portfolio?

01:40:40:15 - 01:41:01:10
Khadija Gbla
But I work, my last client was the prime minister and cabinet and Estee Lauder. So I work with diverse range and sizes of businesses, private, nonprofit, and it's fun. I love what I do. It's not stuffy like it's in a stuffy white man talking to you. You're going to get all the sass, all the flavor, all the yeah, all the stuff that makes trading and those conversations very productive.

01:41:01:10 - 01:41:02:24
Khadija Gbla
Thank you so much for having me.

01:41:02:24 - 01:41:04:01
Daniel Franco
Have you have all.

01:41:04:26 - 01:41:05:08
Khadija Gbla
Info.

01:41:05:14 - 01:41:10:15
Daniel Franco
On our website and on our show notes. So, Cindy, Jack, you know, I'm going to you. You'll see it there.

01:41:10:19 - 01:41:21:03
Khadija Gbla
Please look after yourselves. Everyone have self-care When you listen to this episode, it's okay to have any body natural reaction. It's all normalize. Look after yourself. Thank you for honoring my story.

01:41:21:03 - 01:41:40:15
Daniel Franco
Well, I. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for all that you do. Some would see your you know, some would be scared to speak up like you do would be would feel some shame, would feel vulnerability. And you like you just said, you do it with sass and with love and.

01:41:41:00 - 01:41:41:26
Khadija Gbla
Always with love and.

01:41:41:26 - 01:41:48:25
Daniel Franco
With passion is is unmatched. And, you know, you're changing the world. So we.

01:41:48:25 - 01:41:49:09
Khadija Gbla
All are.

01:41:49:23 - 01:41:55:26
Daniel Franco
Please, please keep being you. Please keep doing what you're doing and and we'll all be there supporting you in the background and.

01:41:55:26 - 01:41:56:27
Khadija Gbla
Watch out for part two.

01:41:57:12 - 01:42:07:00
Daniel Franco
And yes, we definitely have to do it. I do want to talk about the business stuff, so you would definitely go into part two. Thank you very much for The View then.

01:42:07:00 - 01:42:07:07
Khadija Gbla
Yeah.

01:42:07:09 - 01:42:08:22
Daniel Franco
Thanks everyone. Catch you next time.